


All Work and No Play

by brit



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-16 18:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brit/pseuds/brit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak has never had it easy. Bullied ever since he was kid, absentee father, rowdy older siblings, barely any friends, and now to top it all off, Dean Winchester, the boy who has been bullying him since the third grade is dating his sister. He thinks nothing can be worse. Then he finds out who his partner is in a business class taught by satan...none other than Dean Winchester. But things end up taking an unforseen turn when Castiel actually starts to like Dean and Dean ends up liking him back. Not in public though, no, never in public. Will anything ever change the minds of the two most unlikey boys to fall in love with each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was the last first day of high school for Castiel Novak. He was excited to get the hell out of Lawrence, Kansas for good. When his family moved to Lawrence, Castiel was seven. Making friends should have been easy for a seven-year-old, but Castiel wasn’t really that normal. He liked reading not playing football or baseball like all the other boys. His older brothers Michael and Gabriel tried to teach him how to play sports, but Castiel was always afraid of the ball.

Getting up on the last first day brought a smile to Castiel’s face. He jumped out of bed, got ready in about five minutes, and ran down the stairs. His father had promised to ‘at least try’ to make it home for this day. But when he saw Michael making breakfast, he knew his dad hadn’t been able to get away from work. Michael held out a plate of runny looking eggs and burnt toast. Castiel sighed as he took the plate. He appreciated Michael, he did, but Castiel knew that even he was a better cook than his older brother. He wanted to make his own breakfast, maybe pancakes, but Michael had beaten him to it. So he was stuck with a half edible meal.

Gabriel came flying down the stairs. He wanted to see Castiel off on his last first day. Gabriel had graduated last year but moved back in, much like Michael, after their father’s work had been taking him across the country and across seas more and more often. Anna was supposed to graduate with Gabriel, but some unforeseen events took place, causing her to be held back. Secretly though, Castiel was glad Anna was graduating with him and hadn’t left him in the school by himself. He had really only two friends. Everyone else seemed to either love to pick on Castiel or didn’t even know he existed.

Michael handed Gabe a plate. Gabriel looked at the mess that Michael was trying to feed him then walked to the pantry and got out a Pop Tart. Michael glared at his little brother, but placed the plate on the counter, waiting for Anna to come down.

Anna walked down the stairs with only a few seconds to spare. She plucked the toast off her plate, ignoring the eggs completely, then  grabbed Castiel’s arm, dragging him out of the house. Michael and Gabriel called to them but Castiel couldn’t really hear what they were saying.

“Anna, please, slow down. We’ll get to school on time.” Anna still had a hold on Castiel’s arm as she power walked down the sidewalk.

“Okay, Castiel, don’t get mad.” She stopped walking, causing Castiel to almost run into her. He never liked when Anna said that. It usually meant she was going to say something that would, indeed, make him upset. He never really got _mad_. “Do you know Dean Winchester?” The name sent a chill to his spine. Dean Winchester was a part of the group of kids that enjoyed making fun of Castiel. Ever since he moved to Lawrence, Dean and his friends would push Castiel in the dirt on the playground or steal his book and throw it into mud; in middle school they started beating Castiel up; in high school they took to just calling him names. Dean wasn’t the ring leader, no that was Crowley, but he did partake in it all.

“I’ve heard of him,” Castiel tried to play it cool, which was nearly impossible for him to do. But Anna seemed distracted to even notice. She let go of Castiel’s arm, which she had had a death grip on, to fix her hair. “Why?” Castiel asked when she didn’t elaborate.

“We’re kind of dating. And he’s going to give us a ride to school.” She spoke extremely fast. Did Castiel really just hear that his sister was dating Dean Winchester? Hopefully he hadn’t. Castiel knew the kind of guy Dean was. A boyfriend was not something Dean was.

“What do you mean kind of?” Castiel didn’t like the way that sounded. That sounded like something one of the many girls Dean had under his belt would say. Anna was not—Castiel wouldn’t let her be—one of Dean’s many. Sure, Dean was on the baseball team and could break Castiel in half, plus he had the back up of Crowley, but Castiel would be damned if he let Anna lower herself to Dean's standards.

“I mean we’ve been dating since July.” July? July was two months ago! That was not ‘kind of dating’, that was an actual relationship. What was Anna doing? Castiel thought she knew better than to date a boy like Dean. He was about to say something to her when a black car pulled up. It was old, Castiel could tell by the way it was built, but it looked brand new. Dean Winchester got out of the car and walked over to Anna, grabbing her by the waist. He pulled her in for a long kiss, too long if you asked Castiel, but at that point in time, no one was asking Castiel anything. Once Dean released his sister, Castiel opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Dean.

“Look, Carl…”

“Castiel. My name is Castiel.” Carl? Really? Dean had been making fun of and beating Castiel up for ten years now and he hadn’t even bothered to learn his name.

“Right, Cas…”

“Castiel,” he corrected him again. His name wasn’t Cas any more than it was Carl. He hated pet names. He didn’t even let his friends or family use them, so there was no way Dean Winchester was going to be able to call him ‘Cas’.  Dean slung his arm over Anna’s shoulders, pulling her close to him. Anna looked up at him with stars in her eyes. Had she never seen Dean and his friends shove Castiel into some lockers or “accidently” knock over his lunch tray or rip a page out of the book he was reading and throw it away?

“Cas,” he said again, completely ignoring Castiel’s demands, “I know you and me haven’t really gotten along over the years, but I’d like to call a truce.” Dean held his hand out. Castiel looked at it like it were a bomb. His eyes shifted to Anna who was giving him a pleading smile.

“It’s you and I,” Castiel corrected Dean. Dean looked baffled, not that that surprised Castiel. “And I’ll accept only for the sake of my sister.” He did not, however, shake the hand of the boy who had given him such a bad black eye that Michael had been convinced that someone had mugged Castiel. Dean slowly lowered his hand and walked Anna to the car. Both Dean and Anna sat in the car waiting for Castiel to get in.

“Oh come on, Cas! I’m just going to drive you to school!” There was that pet name again.

“Your car is very old. I’m not sure if it’s up to code or not.” Really that didn’t matter to Castiel. He just really didn’t want to be in the same car as Dean. Anna rolled her eyes at her little brother.

“What? Baby? She's running smooth. Always has and always will.”

“I also will not ride with someone who assigns genders to a car or refers to it as _'Baby'_. I’m perfectly fine walking.” Castiel started walking away. Dean slowly crept his car along the road. Castiel tried to ignore him, but he couldn’t. It was very hard to ignore a large, black, muscle car that was blaring music from what appeared to be the 1980s. But Castiel kept walking. He even picked up his pace, as if it would help.

“Cas! Get in this car!” Now it was Anna. Anna had just called him _‘Cas'’_. Anna knew better than to call him anything other than Castiel. What had gotten into her? Castiel hated thinking about losing his sister to a guy he knew was nothing but trouble. “Dean, just drive. He’s not getting in.” Castiel could hear Anna say. It stung a little, or a lot, but he refused to sit in that car. Dean let out a very audible sigh then stepped on the gas, leaving Castiel behind. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! You have no idea how happy I was when I saw that people actually liked this!

Cas got to school ten minutes late. If Dean hadn’t had stopped him he would have made it. But no, Anna’s new _boyfriend_ had to mess everything up, like always. He went to the office to check in. When he got to his new homeroom he was relieved to see Chuck sitting in the front of the room with an empty seat next to him. The teacher took the slip of paper from him and nodded. As Cas turned around to sit down, he saw the last person he wanted to see in the back of the room.

Dean was sitting next to Meg Masters and Bela Talbot. His feet were propped up on his desk. Meg saw Castiel looking in their direction and sneered as she whispered something to Dean. Dean held Castiel’s eye contact the entire time. The smirk on Dean’s face was making Castiel very uncomfortable.

Castiel took his seat next to Chuck. Chuck kept shifting his eyes over to Castiel but he didn’t speak to him. Chuck wasn’t the type of kid to talk during class even if the teacher allowed it.  

The class lasted the same as all homerooms had for the past three years: fifteen minutes. Although Castiel’s was only five, it still felt like an hour. Castiel could feel Dean’s eyes on the back of his neck the entire time.

When the bell rang Chuck went into a whirlwind of questions.

“Look Chuck,” Castiel spoke in his hasty way. Castiel hated the name. He’d much rather call him Charles, but Chuck hated his full name and would only ever respond to Chuck. “Some unforeseen complications have taken place in my life revolving my sister and Dean Winchester and I’d rather not talk about it.”

“You just found out that they were dating, didn’t you?”

“How—”

“Becky and I were at the movies a couple of months ago and we saw them in the corner of the theater not paying any attention to the movie.” Castiel cringed at the thought of his sister and Dean Winchester. It brought him back to that morning when he had to endure them for that impossibly long minute.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Castiel got to his locker and threw his books in. He was so upset about this whole situation that he didn’t even organize his books like he usually does. Chuck took notice.

“No we did. But then we thought about how it would affect you. And from what I’m observing now, we were right not to say anything.”

“Dean Winchester! Of all people Anna could date, she chose Dean Winchester.” Saying it out loud made him feel even worse. Chuck patted his friend on the shoulder. Castiel, not usually one for physical contact, allowed it only because he was too distraught to say anything.

“Castiel! Chuck!” Becky came bounding down the hallway, her sandy blonde ponytail swinging, hitting her in the face. She pushed the hair out of her eyes as she approached them. Chuck threw his arm around Becky then placed a kiss on her temple. Never had that bothered Castiel so much than it did at that moment.

“I heard you were late this morning, Castiel. Anything happen?” Chuck leaned down and whispered into Becky’s ear. Her eyes went wide as she slowly nodded. She turned to Castiel and gave him a sad little smile.

“Just try not to think about it, Castiel. Dean never keeps girlfriends anyway. It won’t be long before Anna and him aren’t even together anymore.” Castiel didn’t like that either. He was torn. Dean Winchester was probably the last person he would want to see Anna with, but the look on her face this morning…she looked genuinely happy, something she hadn’t been for a while. He loved seeing his sister happy and he didn’t want to see her get hurt by Dean; but at the same time he didn’t want to see her be happy because of Dean. He thought it made him a bad brother, but he still thought it.

“Yes, I suppose you are right.” Castiel and his friends walked to their next class which they all had together. Since it was a business elective Castiel had a good feeling that Dean Winchester would not show up in there.

Dean was lounging the same way he had been in homeroom when Castiel, Chuck, and Becky walked in. Dean’s eyes were closed at first, but they slowly peeled open as Castiel walked in. The ever present smirk returned to Dean’s lips making Castiel’s stomach tie into knots. Never had Castiel actually wanted to cause physical harm to another human being, not even going through all the things Crowley and Dean had put him through over the years.

“Cas! Fancy seeing you here!” Dean called to him as Castiel took a seat in the front of the room. Becky looked over at Chuck and mouthed _‘Cas?’_ Chuck just shrugged. Castiel cringed at the name that Dean had branded him with. Castiel chose to ignore Dean. He got out his notebook and started to write everything that was on the board; even though what was on the board was nothing Castiel needed to take note upon, he still wrote it down, if only to distract himself from Dean Winchester.

“Hey,” Dean hissed in his ear, now sitting next to him. “Psst, Cas!” He poked Castiel in the cheek with a pencil, trying to evoke him. Castiel took a deep breath through his nose and kept scribbling in his notebook. He had written _‘Welcome back to school!’_ at least thirty times. Where was the teacher? “Cas, come on buddy! We made a truce! I’m sorry for being a dick to you. Come on man!”

“Dean, please stop bothering me. I said that the truce was only for my sister’s benefit. And seeing as Anna is not here, I don’t see how acting civil towards you is in any part a part of our truce. And under no circumstances am I ever your _‘buddy’_ ,” Castiel spat at Dean. Dean mumbled something under his breath before returning to his seat back in the far corner of the room. Castiel had the strange urge to look back at Dean, but he kept his eyes glued to his notebook.

“Welcome back to school!” An overly loud voice came bellowing into the room. Everyone looked up from what they were doing to see a young man, no older than twenty-five, walk into the room in a three piece suit. The man had his hair combed to the side but for whatever reason, it didn’t look bad on him. He oozed charisma but it didn’t really settle with Castiel.

“I’m Mr. Roman. But you can call me Dick.” A muffled laugh came from the back of the room; _no doubt it’s Dean_ , Castiel thought to himself. Mr. Roman nodded his head and laughed along with him. “Yes, my name is a tad bit funny, but you know what? It’s the name I was born with so I embrace it.” Castiel highly doubted that Mr. Roman’s parents named him Dick on his birth certificate. More likely his name was Richard but he went by Dick when he was younger and it just stuck. But then again, Mr. and Mrs. Roman may have very well put the name Dick on their son’s birth certificate. Yet another reason Castiel hated nicknames.

“Very well, let’s get started, shall we?” Mr. Roman was very energetic for someone who was teaching a class of eight seventeen-year-olds at nine o’clock in the morning. “I’m going to let you partner up. Be warned, these will be your partners for the rest of your time in this class. Whenever we do any sort of project? This person will be the only option you have. Choose wisely.” Mr. Roman said the last part like a threat. Castiel didn’t like the way it sounded. Nevertheless, he had to find someone to be his partner. Chuck and Becky stuck to each other like they were afraid someone might actually pick the other. Castiel looked around the room but only saw faces of people he didn’t know. Then, after everyone had a partner, Castiel looked to the back corner of the room to find a dozing Dean Winchester. Castiel walked over to Dean and knocked his feet off the desk, startling Dean awake.

“We’re partners,” Castiel said dryly. Dean wiped sleep from his eye. His smirk reappeared on his lips.

“I knew you’d come back. They always do.” Castiel held his lips in a thin, tight line, his annoyance surly seeping off of him like a visible aura. Castiel wished he were good at threating people but all he could think to say was _‘don’t make me tell Anna.’_ But he knew that wouldn’t do much except maybe get a laugh out of Dean.

“Alright! Everyone has someone! How touching,” Mr. Roman had a little too much sarcasm for Castiel’s liking. Castiel wasn’t good at picking up on sarcasm, but when he did, he found it to be rather annoying. “Unlike most of your teachers here, I am not going to baby you. And I know every teacher in the history of all teachers say that. I however, am the only one who means it. By this I mean that this project I am about to hand out to you is the only project, only work in general, you will have for this semester. Your grade for this semester rides on this project. You have until this day to the end of the semester to do it. You may turn it in at any time leading up to December 19th. It will count as your midterm and final, so I really hope you chose wisely in your partner.” Castiel looked over at Dean who had his pencil in his mouth and gnawing at the eraser and whose feet were placed on the desk again even after being pushed off. Was there anything in Castiel’s life that Dean couldn’t mess up?

“This project consists of you and your partner thinking up a business: product to sell or service to offer, an appropriate name, the clientele you’ll be marketing towards, a marketing strategy, a budget, the employees, the works. The packet explains it all. I even have some extra credit in there if you want to be adventurous. If you have any questions you can ask me. But other than that, you are free to talk amongst yourselves. Use your time wisely.” And with that, Mr. Roman was sat behind his desk, scrolling through his phone. Castiel was in shock. Never had he had a teacher who was so hands off. A teacher who smothers their students wasn’t any better (some might argue they are even worse) but to just give the class a packet of paper and tell them to just go for it? Well that didn’t feel like teaching to Castiel.

“It says here for extra credit we could bring in a sample of our product or a video of our service in progress. So, is there anything you can actually do?” Castiel was brought back to reality. He had only barely heard Dean. He thought about it for a second and could come up with only he could read. But that wasn’t something you could sell.

“Nothing comes to mind. And you?”

“I can fix cars, hunt, play baseball, and make a mean spaghetti dinner.” Castiel mulled over all that Dean could do. His talents did not surprise Castiel. Well the cooking did a little, but everybody had a hidden talent.

“This spaghetti dinner?  Do you by chance make your own sauce.” Dean looked at Castiel, confusion knit into his brow.

“Uh, no? What do I look like, Betsy Ross?” Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Betty Crocker, and no you look like neither. It was just a question.” Castiel took out his notebook and started to brainstorm, with himself. He didn’t think Dean was going to be much help. And as much as it pained him to do the whole project by himself, he’d rather do it all himself and get an A then with a dimwitted partner and make a C or worse.

“What are you writing in your notebook?” Dean craned his neck to get a look. Castiel had written down a few ideas he thought might work for a business that Dean and he could create. “Lawn service? Is that the only thing you can think of?” It was literally the only thing Castiel could think Dean would be capable of doing.

“Yes, it is. Do you have any other ideas?” Dean pursed his lips. When they weren’t in an annoying smirk, Dean had very full lips. Castiel found himself looking at them for longer than need be. He shook his head and dove back into the notebook. Dean took his pencil between his teeth and concentrated.

“I can fix my car!” He shouted. Castiel looked to him, scrunching his nose in confusion. How was that supposed to help them?

“Yes, I heard.”

“That can be our business. Auto repair. I can be the mechanic and you can be the business person. And I can video myself actually fixing the car and then get a shot of you, I don’t know, punching in numbers on a calculator.” Castiel thought it over. He looked at Dean who looked as if he had just solved world hunger. He had erased lawn service, now all that was left was a ghost of the idea and row after row of blank lines.

“It’s not a terrible idea.” To be honest, it was actually a pretty good idea. And since it was the only one they had, Castiel would be willing to settle on it.

“Not terrible? Shit, Cas, it’s the only idea we got! We’re doing it.” Castiel clenched his jaw at the name but bit his tongue. He had a feeling he was going to have to get used to being called that. 


	3. Chapter 3

The first few weeks went pretty smoothly, surprisingly. Dean wasn’t as annoying as Castiel imagined he would be. When he wasn’t picking on Castiel for reading _A Brief History of Time_ or Shakespeare’s complete collection or ‘accidently’ hitting Castiel in the head with a baseball, Dean wasn’t so bad. They got a lot of work done. Castiel just had to tell Dean what to do and Dean was obedient.

“Hey, Cas?” Castiel made a noise indicating that he was acknowledging Dean. He didn’t even notice the nickname anymore. Dean had his pencil in his mouth, chewing the metal around the eraser softly. He looked nervous.

“What is it Dean?” Castiel asked, slightly annoyed that Dean didn’t take his silence as his cue to talk.

“I may not be here a lot next week. So do you maybe want to work on this over the weekend?” Castiel looked up from the notebook that had their business laid out perfectly. Dean looked worried.

“We can do that,” Castiel said with caution. “Is everything alright, Dean?” Dean didn’t answer right away. He was looking ahead, but he wasn’t in the room. He was somewhere else, lost in thought. Eventually though, he snapped to, answering Castiel with an awkward laugh.

“Yeah, Cas, everything’s fine.” He sounded far away. Castiel tried to not think about it, but in the back of his mind he knew that the hallowed out sound of Dean’s voice would stay with him for the rest of the day.

* * *

The honk outside was so familiar by now, Castiel didn’t even have to hold the curtain back to see who it was, but that didn’t stop him from doing it anyway. The black 1967 Impala (as Dean ever so persistently drilled into Castiel’s mind) was purring outside, with a frustrated looking Dean behind the wheel. Castiel watched as Dean got out of the car and jogged up to the door.

“Dean? What are you doing here? I thought we had plans for tomorrow?” Anna answered the door. Castiel stopped at the top of the stairs to see what was going on.

“Oh, yeah. Well, I’m actually here for Cas. We’re gonna work on our project together.” Castiel was not aware that they were working on their project tonight. Dean was lucky that the only friends Castiel had were too busy being in a relationship on Fridays. It was weird, actually having someone to hang out with on a Friday. Well, not hang out. Work on a project that was mandatory. Castiel shook the thoughts out of his head.

“You’re going to hang out with my brother? On a Friday night?” Anna leaned against the door frame. Her arms crossed over her chest. Castiel did not like the way she sounded. Was she, jealous?

“Babe,” Dean grabbed her shoulders and gave her his irritating—that was losing its irritability—smirk, “baby, we’re working on a big project for Dick’s class We really need to get this perfect. And besides, tomorrow, I’m all yours.” Anna blew her bangs out of her face— something Castiel knew she did when she was irritated—and gave Dean a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yes, you are. Pick me up at 10:30. We’re going to the flea market.” Castiel couldn’t help but snicker. Poor Dean wouldn’t know what hit him when he got Anna to a flea market. But all Dean did was smile, not smirk, and kiss Anna.

“Castiel!” Anna called up to him. Castiel had forgotten he was on the stairs, intruding on their couple moment. He panicked and ran to his room, slamming the door. He sat down at his desk and tried to make it look as if he hadn't just been snooping on Dean and Anna. He listened for Anna’s steps to come retrieve him, but instead a pair of heavier footsteps came up the stairs.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean poked his head in without knocking. Castiel closed his laptop and turned to face Dean. He hated when people came into his room unannounced. “Is it alright if we work on the project tonight? At my place?” From the way Dean and Anna were speaking, Castiel should have picked up that Dean had wanted to work at his house, but Castiel never really did picked up on subtle clues like that. Dean stepped farther into Castiel’s room. Castiel was a little in shock. No one had ever just barged into his room before. And the look on Dean’s face was quite perplexing. In fact, perplexed would be the word Castiel would use to describe the look.

“Is something wrong?” _Besides the fact you so rudely just waltzed into my room_ Castiel kept that to himself. Dean looked around the tight, neat room. Castiel’s eyes followed Dean’s gaze. Was something misplaced? Castiel looked at his bed: effortlessly made. His bookcase: alphabetically organized by author’s last name with only Herman Melville’s Moby Dick missing. His desk: papers stacked, pencils and pens in a cup at the top right corner for easiest access, lamp turned to the perfect angle for optimal lighting, laptop placed in the center with the cord distributed smoothly across the floor, and all drawers shut. His nightstands: left one with his alarm clock set for 6:15 A.M. and the right one with Herman Melville’s Moby Dick dog-eared up until page 782. His closet door: not hanging open. Nothing seemed to be out of order. So why was Dean staring at it as if it were a zoo exhibit?

Dean shook his head as if bringing himself down from a cloud of thought. “Um, no. Nothing’s wrong. Your room is just so…you.” Castiel didn’t think Dean knew him well enough to come to such a conclusion, but seeing as how he was right, Castiel let it slide.

“Yes, I suppose it is. It is mine after all.” Dean shrugged, accepting that even though there was no way he could really reject it. “Shall we go?” Castiel gathered his laptop and wrapped the cord and tucked it into his laptop bag.

“Dude? A purse?”  

“It is not a purse. It holds nothing but my laptop. It’s a laptop carrier.” Castiel didn’t know why he was defending himself. He didn’t usually when Dean made fun of him.

“I’m messing with you, Cas. Lighten up.” Dean jokingly punched Castiel in the arm. It was the first time Dean had ever punched Castiel and Castiel didn’t end up having to tell Michael that he fell. It was a friendly gesture, no matter how barbaric it seemed to Castiel.

“Right, my apologizes.” Castiel moved the bag up on his shoulder more and grabbed his coat. Dean left his room, leaving Castiel wondering what had just happened.

* * *

“Sorry about the mess. I didn’t really have time to clean up,” Dean said as he unlocked the door. Dean pushed the door open, moving some things out of the way of the doorway. It was a tiny apartment, nothing big for a family of three, usually only two.

“It’s alright,” Castiel lied. Castiel hated messes and, well, this apartment was a tad bit messy.

“I asked my brother to clean up before I got back, but I guess he didn’t hear me!” Dean shouted into the back of the apartment. Castiel wasn’t aware that Dean had any siblings.

“I heard you! I just chose to ignore you!” A younger boy stepped out of a room and entered the living room/dining room area that Castiel and Dean were standing in. The boy was tall, but Castiel could tell that he was young. He had shaggy brown hair that reminded Castiel of a dog and big brown eyes to match. Or maybe they were green. Castiel couldn’t really tell and he didn’t feel the need to stare into the boys eyes to find out.

“Bitch,” Dean muttered under his breath. Castiel stood in shock.

“Jerk,” the younger boy spoke back.

“Cas, this is my twerp of a brother, Sam.” Dean grabbed Sam into a head lock. He roughed his hair, then threw him aside. Sam smoothed his hair down then looked to Castiel. Sam’s eyes went wide and he had a similar smirk to his brother’s.

“Cas? As in _the_ Cas?” Castiel looked to Dean for some sort of clue, but all he got was a look of terror on Dean’s face as he reached to cover his little brother’s mouth with his hand, but it was too late. “Ah man, I feel like you’re a celebrity. All Dean ever talks about lately is you. _Cas is so smart. Cas is actually pretty funny. I just love the way_ —” Dean got his hand over Sam’s mouth before anymore words were spoken. Castiel looked from one brother to the other. Dean looked furious. Sam was cackling. Castiel was utterly confused.

“I have not. Don’t listen to him. He’s delusional.” Dean let his brother go by shoving him into the direction from which he came. “He’s also supposed to be doing his homework.” Sam looked back and stuck his tongue out.

“Jerk!” Sam called before Castiel heard a door shut.

“Bitch!” Dean yelled back. _Odd relationship these two have_ , Castiel kept to himself. Dean turned to Castiel looking embarrassed. Castiel still looked and felt confused.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” was the only thing Castiel could think to say. It was honestly the only thing his brain was capable of thinking at the moment. Dean snapped out of his stupor and looked at the doors where Sam was held up.

“Yeah. He’s a good kid. Smart kid. He’s a freshman at St. Mary’s this year on scholarship, that’s why he’s not going to Lawrence High. He’s an arrogant little prick though, not that he doesn’t deserve to be.” Castiel couldn’t help but notice the way Dean talked about Sam. It was like a proud father brags about a son.

"So? Maybe we should get started?"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Any comments are always welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

After two hours of pecking on the laptop, Dean leaned back in his chair and smiled at Castiel. Castiel looked up from his laptop, not knowing what was going on. Why was Dean smiling at him like that?

“You hungry?” Dean asked, his smile still present on his face. Castiel slowly closed the laptop and nodded. He was waiting for Dean to kick him out. He had been there a while. Dean probably had plans with Crowley. He was asking Castiel if he was hungry to say ‘ _well why don’t you go home and get something to eat?_ ’ Castiel was always waiting for the other shoe to fall.

“I’m starving!” Sam said seeming to come out of nowhere. Dean pushed himself from the table and walked to the pantry. He pulled out a box of spaghetti.

“You like spaghetti, Cas?” Dean was rummaging around to find a pot. Castiel looked at Dean, still not fully sure of what was going on. Dean wasn’t obligated to make him dinner. That was not what business class partners did. “Cas?” Dean turned around after finding the pot and filling it with water.

“Uh, yes. Spaghetti is fine.”

“Dean makes the best spaghetti sauce! He uses ripe tomatoes and some sort of spice. What is it again?” Sam looked up to his big brother. Castiel looked at Dean who wasn’t turning around. Castiel had thought Dean said he didn’t make his own sauce.

“Oregano,” Dean answered without turning around.

 “Yeah, oregano, all from our Aunt Ellen’s house. She runs a bar down on seventh street. _The Roadhouse_? You ever been?” Sam sure liked to talk a lot. Castiel was a little overwhelmed by all the talking. His dinner conversations usually consisted of Michael and Gabriel yelling at each other, Anna excusing herself before even touching her meal to sneak out of the house to be with Dean no doubt, and poor Castiel sat in silence as he nibbled on burnt meatloaf or undercooked chicken and sometimes if Michael was feeling unusually happy they could passive aggressively share a pizza.

“No. I haven’t. But my brother tells me great things about it.” Gabriel always went out drinking and he always came back with the wildest stories. Sometimes, well most times, Castiel didn’t believe them, but it was nice listening to Gabriel when he wasn’t yelling at Michael or Castiel or Anna or at no one in particular about their father.

“You have brothers?” Dean spoke from his spot at the stove. Sam leaned on the table, his head propped up by his hands which were propped up on his elbows. He cocked his head to the side, his green/brown eyes shining.

“Yes. Two. Has Anna never mentioned Gabriel or Michael?”

“No,” Dean said, sounding like he was in another place again. “No, she hasn’t. She doesn’t much talk about family. She doesn’t really talk much at all.” Sam snickered at that. Dean shot him a warning glare from over his shoulder. Castiel didn’t understand what was going on. Sam looked down at the table, avoiding eye contact, but Castiel could see the smile on his face.

“Oh, well, we have two older brothers. Michael is the oldest of us all, then Gabriel, shortly after is Anna, and then lastly there is me. Michael is taking care of us while our father is away on business.”

“Our dad is away a lot too. Dean’s the one who takes care of me. Well our Uncle Bobby comes by a lot and Aunt Ellen, but Dean’s really the one—” Dean threw the spoon he was using into the boiling water, causing some to splash on him. He cursed out then turned to his brother.

“Sammy shut it, okay?” He said as he rushed out of the room, with, what appeared to Castiel as tears in his eyes.

“Dean doesn’t like talking about our dad.” Sam looked up at Castiel. He looked like a kicked puppy. Castiel got up from the table. But what was he going to do? Console Dean Winchester? Shouldn’t he be reveling in the fact the boy had weaknesses? He would be if Castiel was that kind of person, which he most certainly was not. But he also wasn’t the kind of person to console someone. So why was he making his way to Dean Winchesters room?

Unlike Dean, Castiel knocked on the door and waited for a response.

“Go away Sammy. Don’t worry about your precious pasta, the water won’t burn,” Castiel could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to keep his ever present wit.  

“Um, it’s Castiel,” he said, not sure of himself. Maybe he should have let Sam handle this. Castiel had never dealt with a crying man before, let alone a crying Dean Winchester. Castiel heard some shuffling behind the door and was soon greeted with puffy eyed Dean.

“If you tell anyone that I cried I will personally end your life,” Dean said, but it was a hollow threat and even Castiel could pick up on that. Dean motioned for Castiel to come in and take a seat. The room, like the rest of the apartment, was rather small. Only a twin mattress sat in the far right corner under the only window in the room, and a desk sat on the opposite side of the room. Instead of books or papers on the desk, piles and piles of clothes that Castiel could only hope were clean sat messily splayed out. The bed was no different. Dean noticed the look on Castiel’s face and pushed the clothes to the floor. Castiel would just have to get over it.

Castiel took a seat next to Dean on the bed. Castiel looked around the room. The walls spoke a different tale from the rest of the cluttered mess. Sure there was a pinup calendar with Miss September’s only clothes two strategically placed books hung on the door and a few nearly naked woman laid out on motor cycles and muscle cars were tacked around the room, but the pictures that hung above the bed were different.

There were four: one of a woman with soft blonde hair holding a baby wrapped in blue and a man with black hair and scruffy facial hair with a toddler sat on his lap, they all looked very happy; one of a young boy who was undoubtedly Dean and an even younger boy who was most likely Sam playing catch; an even scruffier looking man hugging a woman with caramel colored hair, a little girl with blonde pigtails that reminded Castiel of Jo Harvelle with her arm around a young Dean, and a very tiny Sam that was being hugged by Dean; and a yearbook picture of a young Sam, his hair short and a tooth missing but his eyes just as big and hopeful.

“Is something wrong?” Dean asked, following Castiel’s gaze. Castiel looked away from the wall and back to Dean whose eyes were losing their puffiness already. He wanted to ask about the pictures, but he thought maybe that it wasn’t a good time. The pictures looked extremely personal. And even someone like Castiel, who had the social skills of an orange, knew better than to pry on a broken man.   

“No. Just, your room is very you.” Castiel said, stealing what Dean had used earlier that afternoon. Dean smiled at Castiel and for whatever reason, Castiel smiled back. They didn’t say much for a while, just enjoyed the others’ smile.  

“Look,” Dean spoke, breaking the silence, “I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s just that the thing with my dad is very touchy for me and Sam doesn’t fully understand. I hope he never does.” Castiel let out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding. Being in a room with a vulnerable Dean Winchester seemed kind of like a dream to Castiel.

“I understand. I don’t very much like discussing my father to anyone, not even my own siblings.” But the thing was, Castiel did not understand. Dean’s situation was much different than just an absentee father. Dean wasn’t going to let Castiel know that though. The less anyone knew about John Winchester, the better.

“Yeah, um, you still hungry? I’m sure by now Sam is lying dramatically on the kitchen floor, begging to be fed.” Castiel smiled again— why? he didn’t know—as he jumped off the bed.

“You don’t smile a lot, I’ve noticed.” Dean commented as they walked toward the door. Castiel stopped walking. He smiled. Maybe he didn’t smile all the time, but he did smile. “You should though. You’ve got a nice smile.” Dean said as he walked back into the kitchen. Castiel was speechless. He honestly had no idea what was happening. First Dean starts dating his sister, then by chance Dean is partnered up with Castiel for the biggest project either of them have ever had, then they actually start getting along, now Dean’s invited Castiel over on a Friday night, made him dinner and was now complimenting him. The little voice in the back of his mind was now that of a freshman at St. Mary’s school saying things like “ _Cas is so smart. Cas is actually pretty funny. I just love the way_ —” And the voice was like a broken record. 


	5. Chapter 5

“I thought you said you didn’t make your own sauce?” Castiel smirked, actually smirked, as he pushed back his plate. That dinner was one of the best dinners he had ever had and it was just spaghetti. Dean smiled at Castiel and shrugged.

“A man can have secrets, can’t he?” Sam laughed at that. Dean shot his little brother a warning glare. Castiel didn’t know what was going on between them, but he felt he shouldn’t question it.

Sam started talking about a new girl, Ruby, that had already been sent to the principal’s office three times even though she’d only been there for a week. Sam went on and on about how Ruby stood up for Sam when the other boys were making fun of his height. Dean smiled as his little brother talked about this girl. Castiel enjoyed the interaction between the two brothers. It was a nice change of pace from everything: seeing Dean being civil and actually caring of someone other than himself; and two brothers who loved each other and showed it.

“Someone’s got a crush, huh?” Dean got in between a lull in Sam’s one sided conversation. Sam’s ears turned bright red.

“What? No. She’s just interesting that’s all. She’s not like the other girls at the school.” Dean pushed his chair back, picking up his plate and Cas’s. Sam wasn’t done piling food onto his plate.

“Sure Sammy,” Dean laughed. Sam opened his mouth to speak, a devious look in his eyes, but Dean gave him a look which shut him right up. Castiel gathered the cups off the table and walked them over to the sink where Dean was rinsing off the plate.

“Dinner was very good, thank you Dean.” Dean smiled as he took the cups from Castiel. Their fingers brushed, if only for a second, but with Castiel’s new shone light thanks to Sam, he couldn’t think of anything else.

The house phone started ringing. Dean set down the dishes and grabbed the phone as he wiped his hands on a towel. He walked back to his room, shutting the door a little too forcefully. Sam winced. Castiel noticed.

“It’s our dad on the phone.” Sam informed Castiel. Castiel stood at the sink looking at the dishes. They were fully cleaned. Castiel took it upon himself to finish cleaning. Sam walked over to him and started helping him.

“Well it’s either our dad or Bobby. And since Bobby’s away on a hunting trip this weekend, I’m going with it’s our dad.” Sam scrubbed the plate with the sponge, not looking at Castiel as he spoke. Castiel didn’t know what to say. And it wasn’t because he just wasn’t good with people. Would anyone really know what to say to that.

“You don’t seem to be bothered by your father as much as Dean does,” Castiel noticed. Sam winced.

“Our dad is a lot tougher on Dean than he is on me, for whatever reason. Dean tries to take it like a man, but one person can only take so much.” Sam spoke, but not like a fourteen-year-old, much more mature than some people Castiel had had conversations with in high school. The reasoning behind that would have to be something Castiel wouldn’t be able to understand and Castiel knew that.

“I—” Castiel didn’t know what to say, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Dean called out to Sam. Sam dropped the plate as he ran to Dean’s room. Sam came out with the phone glued to his ear, listening intently. Sam pointed to Dean’s room. Castiel walked back.

“Dean?” Castiel poked his head in without knocking. Dean was laying on his bed, his arm draped over his eyes. Dean motioned for Castiel to come in without moving or speaking. Castiel walked in, not knowing where to stand. He chose to stand in the middle of the room. Dean moved his arm and looked over at Castiel.

“You can sit down,” Dean patted the bed as he switched from the laying position to the sitting. Dean crossed his legs, his boots still on. Castiel walked over to the bed, hesitated, then sat down. Dean lulled his head and hit it against the wall. One of his pictures fell down, landing on Castiel’s lap. It was the one of the family portrait. He picked it up and examined it. The woman holding the blue blanketed baby looked so happy. Her eyes were blue or green but either way they were very beautiful. The man next to her had a smile on his face that reached his eyes. The little boy on his lap had the biggest, most vibrant green eyes Castiel had ever seen. They looked like a family Castiel would have read about in a book. It made Castiel wish he had a family portrait that he could pin to his wall.

“Is this your mother and father?” Castiel handed the photo to Dean. Dean held the picture, really looked at it. His smile was sad.

“Yeah, three weeks before she died. Mugging.” His smile faded but he continued to look sad.

“My mother died two years after I was born. Cancer.” Castiel didn’t even have a picture of her that was all his. He had stolen his parents wedding photo once, just to see what his mother had looked like, but his father caught him and took it back. Michael handed him a picture of his mother holding Castiel as toddler, but his mother’s vibrant red hair had fallen out and her head was being covered with a scarf. She had a smile on her face, but the life in her eyes was gone. A babbling baby Castiel was toying with her scarf. Castiel handed the photo back to Michael as soon as he received it. Castiel didn’t want to be reminded of her anymore. It just made him more upset that he didn’t get to know her. Now all he wanted was that picture back, he was just too scared to ask for it back.

“Seems that you and me have a lot more in common than we thought.” _You and I_ Castiel corrected in his mind. Dean turned around and pinned it back on the wall. He took the other family-looking portrait and handed it to Castiel.

“Is that Jo Harvelle?”

“It is. That’s her mother, our Aunt Ellen. And that’s our Uncle Bobby. When we were little and our dad was on the job, we lived with Bobby. That’s why I’m so close to Jo. She’s like a sister to me.” Castiel always liked Jo. She hung out with Crowley, yes, but whenever the bullying got physical, Jo was usually the one to pull Dean and Crowley off of Castiel.

Dean placed that picture back but didn’t get the other two down. Castiel turned around and pointed at the picture of Dean and Sam playing catch.  

“I like this picture.” Castiel liked Dean talking to him about other things than just their project.

“Ellen took it. It was for the Fourth of July. Dad had just taken off for a three month job. Bobby and Ellen took us to the park to barbeque and enjoy the summer weather. It was the only first Fourth of July that we actually got to enjoy.” Dean’s sad smile returned. Castiel enjoyed listening to Dean’s childhood. The childhood that Castiel knew of Dean’s was not one Castiel was very fond of. This childhood was much better.

“We never did anything special for the Fourth. Dad was too busy to even remember the date.”

“Can we stop talking about this? I hate living in the past.”

“I agree.” A long pause fell over the two. Castiel had never known this side of Dean. He was broken, much like Castiel was. But, unlike Castiel, Dean took his broken pieces and used them. Maybe not for good and by bullying Castiel but at least he used them. Castiel shut down. He gave into himself and into books. Knowing this, it made the anger towards Dean Castiel had burn a little less.

“Dean?” Sam poked his head into the room. “Oh, sorry.” Castiel looked down and saw their hands. At what point did Dean’s hand fall over Castiel’s? And when did their fingers intertwine? Castiel hadn’t noticed this until Sam looked down at them. Dean jerked his hand away and jumped up from the bed. Castiel stayed put, not knowing what to do. Dean and Sam walked out of the room.

Something was changing. Castiel didn’t know what. But something. Dean was no longer just the bully that Castiel tried his best to avoid. He was someone Castiel felt he could confide in. And Castiel was no longer the easy target because of the same reason. When did that happen? Why did that happen? All that was different was that they were forced to spend time together. So why was that not all that was different?   


	6. Chapter 6

Dean was right, he did not show up next week. It was already Thursday and still no Dean. Anna and Castiel had been walking to school again. Anna seemed off again like she had right before school let out last year. She was irritable and moody, she didn’t eat much, she snapped at everyone and everything. Castiel thought it might have something to do with Dean, but talking about Dean to Anna wasn’t something Castiel felt comfortable with. 

* * *

Castiel thought about working on the project, but decided not to touch it while Dean was gone. Instead, Castiel continued to read _Moby Dick_. He had just gotten to page 923 when Mr. Roman called him up to his desk.

“Castiel, is it?” They had been in the class for over a month and Mr. Roman hadn’t taken the time out of playing games on his phone to learn the name of the eight students in the class. Castiel nodded, not speaking. He didn’t like Mr. Roman. A teacher who wants to go by Dick was someone that Castiel didn’t feel he could trust. “Castiel, I notice that you and your partner seem to be well ahead of the game. I’d like you to know that you finishing the project early will not give you any brownie points with me. Being a kiss ass may get you ahead in some of your other classes, but not mine.”  Mr. Roman was leaning back in his chair with his feet on his desk; it reminded Castiel of Dean. Castiel didn’t know how he felt about this.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you think that.” They honestly weren't. They just wanted to get the thing over with so they wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Sucking up was not their aim.

Mr. Roman _tsk_ ed at Castiel as he swung his feet off his desk. “Plus, if you rush this, you may just screw yourself over. Just keep that in mind.” Mr. Roman did not dismiss Castiel, he just got his phone out and didn’t look up. Castiel took that as his signal to go back to his desk. He pulled out his phone, if _Dick_ could do it, then so could Castiel.

_Mr. Roman thinks we are trying to suck up to him. Maybe we should stop working on the project for a while. Text me with what you think. –_ _Cas_

Castiel looked at the text after he sent it. He had just referred to himself as Cas. Castiel had never done that. He slid his phone back in his pocket and went back to reading, trying not to think about it.

* * *

At lunch Chuck was going on and on about his and Becky’s project. Becky was also gone for the week, but she was on a book club trip to the house of Ernest Hemingway in Key West. Castiel tried to pay attention to his friend, but Chuck and Becky’s project was a book store and although Castiel loved reading, he did not love hearing about a fake book store that only sold werewolf, vampire, and sci-fi novels. Castiel enjoyed the classics and that of great thinkers.

Chuck noticed that Castiel was ignoring him and slowly faded his one sided conversation. Castiel ate his sandwich silently, wondering if maybe he should call Dean. Mr. Roman’s threat was not sitting well with him. He wanted to know what Dean thought about it.

Chuck said one more thing before he gathered his trash and walked away from the table. Castiel looked up when he realized that his friend was gone, about five minutes after Chuck had left. He picked up his own trash and got up to throw it away.

Crowley thwarted him. Castiel hadn’t had to deal with Crowley lately. He thought maybe Dean had something to do with it. Or maybe Anna. But neither of them were there now. Crowley had Meg and Bela standing next to him. Jo and Ash weren’t anywhere to be found.

“Cassy, long time no see.” Castiel cringed at the name.

“I saw you yesterday, Crowley. We have history together.” Crowley and his entourage cackled.

“That’s what I enjoy so much about you, Cassy: your sense of humor.” Cassy was the name Crowley had called Castiel ever since Castiel moved to Lawrence. Crowley thought himself a genius when he started calling Castiel that. Castiel would come home crying and Michael would tell him to suck it up before their father showed up. Anna comforted him the best she could. Eventually, Castiel just came to the realization that _Cassy_ was going to be the name he was called. It was the biggest reason he hated nicknames. That and Gabriel used to call him _Asstiel_ , but that was his big brother so it was expected.

“I was not joking, Crowley. We do have history together.” Castiel only wanted to throw his lunch out and maybe go to the library before calculus, but he knew with Crowley taunting him that wasn’t going to happen. Crowley smiled like a snake.

“Look Cassy,” Crowley moved closer to him, throwing his arm around Castiel. Castiel tried his best not to flinch. “I know you thought we forgot about you, but we could never do that, could we?”

“Never,” Meg and Bela said in unison. It made Castiel uncomfortable.

“Right, never. We want you to know that since Dean got rid of your sister, we’ll be giving you even more attention. You’re welcome.” Crowley removed himself from Castiel’s side. As Crowley walked away, his fist came flying into Castiel’s stomach, almost sending Castiel’s recently eaten sandwich onto the floor.

What had Crowley meant by _‘gotten rid of’_  ? To Castiel, that sounded as if Dean had killed Anna and seeing that Anna and Castiel walked to school that morning he knew that his sister was still alive. So that left one other thing.

Castiel ran to the office. Anna was doing office helper this year. She told Castiel that she wanted the easiest class load this year. Castiel understood and he also knew that being an office helper was one of the easiest classes.  

“Castiel?” The lady at the front desk, Mrs. Campbell, jumped up when Castiel got to her desk. “Is everything alright dear?” Castiel had been an office helper freshman year only because they wouldn’t put him in three math classes. Mrs. Campbell knew Castiel and could tell when something was wrong.

“Mrs. Campbell,” he panted. Castiel didn’t really do running. “Where is Anna?”

“Poor dear,” Mrs. Campbell shook her head. “She came in here crying so I sent her to the nurse’s office to get some peace and quiet.” Castiel didn’t say anything else, he just started for the nurse’s office.

“Castiel?” The nurse, Ms. Barnes, looked up when Castiel was standing in the door way out of breath. She walked over to him, handing him a cup of water. Castiel thirstily drank the water like a dying man does. Castiel really did not do running. “Castiel what’s wrong?” Needless to say, Castiel was a frequent patient.

“Is Anna here?” He choked out. Ms. Barnes nodded and pointed to where Anna was laying down in the little closet of a room the only cot was. Castiel actually knocked. He waited for a response but when one didn’t come, he went in anyway.

“Anna?” Anna was facing the wall, her knees brought up to her chest. She didn’t respond still. “Anna.” Castiel sat on the edge of the bed. Anna slowly got up and placed Castiel’s arm around her. She curled up next to her brother. Castiel, not really one for showing affection, did not mind in the least. He held his sister tightly.

“He dumped me, Castiel,” she said through tears. “He fucking texted me and broke up with me.” Castiel felt pure rage in his stomach. He knew that Dean could be like that, but the Dean he had started to get to know over the past month did not seem like he would. 

“When?” That morning on the walk to school Anna seemed fine. Well, she seemed relatively fine. No more depressed than she had been acting lately anyway.

“Second period. We were texting, arguing again, when he just said that we were over.”

“Did he say why?” The night Castiel went to Dean’s apartment came rushing back to him all of a sudden. He had been trying to forget that night. He tried to forget Sam’s words and the way they stayed with him for the rest of the night and Dean’s words and the way they made Castiel slowly begin to forget his history with Dean and Dean’s eyes and the way they looked whenever he was talking to or about his brother and Dean’s hand and the way it fit so perfectly with his. Because Dean was Anna’s boyfriend and Castiel’s long time tormenter and Castiel needed to remember that.

“He said he was getting bored with me. He said that four months was too long a time to spend with one person.” Castiel never, not once in his life, had ever been so angry. Not when he was five and his brothers blamed him for breaking the vase causing their father to take away his toys for a week; not in the seventh grade when Crowley and Dean beat him so badly that he couldn’t see out of his left eye for three days and he had to lie to Michael about it because he was afraid that Michael would tell the principal; not when his father promised to make it to his eighth grade graduation but wasn’t there at the end of the ceremony; not even when Anna started dating the one guy in the world that she should have never started dating.

“I’m going to kill him.” Anna pulled away from her brother. She looked up at him, eyes wide with shock. Castiel, the boy who cried when their pet goldfish died. Castiel, the boy who read the biography of Albert Einstein in the third grade for fun. Castiel, the boy who wore a sweater vest for the first five years of schooling, had just threated to kill Dean Winchester.

Dean, the boy who won a state championship in freshman year for throwing the fastest pitch recorded in Kansas history. Dean, the boy who had his very own desk in the principal's office since the second grade. Dean, the boy who had made Castiel's life a living hell since the third grade, was the one Castiel wanted to kill. Anna didn’t know whether to laugh or be terrified, because Castiel sounded serious.

“Castiel, I appreciate that, but really? I don’t think you can.” Castiel got up without a word. He walked out of the nurse’s office. He walked past his next class that had already started. He walked right past the office. He walked out of the building and continued to walk. He walked all the way to Dean Winchester’s apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Castiel had arrived to Dean’s apartment, he was very glad that the temperature had only reached sixty. He marched to the door, apartment 2E, and pounded on the door. Castiel had never done anything like this. Skip school? No. Threaten someone? Not a chance. He was nervous, but not as nervous as he was furious.

Dean opened the door, confused to see Castiel standing there. Castiel was also confused for a second. Dean was worn out looking. He had a fresh bruise on his eye, a new cut that ran through his left eyebrow, and his nose was a deep shade of purple. Castiel shook his head. He was here to talk to Dean, not feel sorry for him. He pushed past Dean, stepping inside the apartment.

“Cas? What are you doing here?” Dean whispered. Dean looked behind his shoulder, obviously worried about something.

“You broke up with Anna, you jackass.” Castiel never cursed, it felt foreign on his tongue. But it also felt good to say. Dean was taken by surprise. A very small smile even came to his lips. Castiel scowled at him. He should not be smiling. Castiel should be making him hate himself. Castiel wanted to see him cry like Anna had.

“I’m really sorry. I can’t really explain, not right now.”

“You broke up with her over a text message! Jackass.” Dean’s eyes flicked behind him again. Castiel followed his gaze but saw nothing.

“Could we maybe step outside?” Dean grabbed his jacket. Castiel folded his arms over his chest.

“No. I am here to yell at you and I will do it right here if I so choose.” Castiel shoved Dean's chest. Dean stumbled back, but kept his footing.

“No, you don’t understand. Just step outside, okay?” Dean was getting even more worried. Castiel didn’t know what was going on. His anger was still boiling inside of him, but it was much less sever now that he saw Dean’s face. Which should not have happened. He should have been ecstatic when he saw that someone beat Dean. So why did it make Castiel worried?

“Just tell me why you did it.”

“Dean?” A gruff voice came from the back of the apartment. “Dean who the hell are you yelling at?” A man with a face that looked exactly like the voice came into sight. He was in a grey t-shirt with grease stains on it and faded jeans that also had stains on them. Castiel recognized him as the man holding Dean in the portrait above Dean’s bed.

“Dad, it’s no one. Just go back to sleep.” Dean pleaded. Mr. Winchester came up to the door, shoving Dean aside. Dean fell to the floor. Castiel let out a gasp.

“Who the hell are you?” His eyes were blood shot and his breath smelled very strongly of alcohol. Castiel took a step back. He looked down at Dean who looked terrified.

“I’m Castiel Novak, sir. I’m working on a project with your son in one of our classes.” All of the anger Castiel felt for Dean was pushed aside for the fear he felt for him.

“What’re you doing here?” Mr. Winchester slurred. His eyes were the color of Sam’s, but they were full of anger. They were hard and cold. Castiel took a step back.

“I just had a question to ask him, but I can come back another time if right now is an inconvenience.” Castiel reached for the door knob, but Dean’s father blocked him.

“No, ask your question.” Mr. Winchester sloppily crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door for support.

“No really, it’s fine. I can come back.” Dean was slowly pulling himself up using the coffee table. Castiel moved closer to him, to help him up, but John Winchester grabbed Castiel’s arm. Castiel winced at the tight grip.

“Boy, I ain’t gonna say it again,” he spat in his face. The smell of alcohol stung Castiel’s eyes. Dean managed to get himself up. He took a step closer to his father and Castiel, wanting to help Castiel get out of his dad’s grip.

“Sir, please let me go.” Castiel was a little worried now. Okay, a lot worried. And not only for himself. Sure, he wanted Dean to suffer, but not like this.

“Dad, let Cas go.” Dean was right next to Castiel. Dean’s hand was inching it’s way closer to his. Castiel was ready to be torn from Mr. Winchester’s grasp, but that never came. Instead, John Winchester threw Castiel much like he had Dean. Castiel went flying into the coffee table, hitting his head on the corner. His hand went straight to the pain; he felt blood. Dean leapt towards his father, pinning him against the wall. Dean’s forearm locked to his father’s neck. John thrashed under his son, roaring. But having had enough alcohol to knock out a horse, his reactions were slightly impaired.

“Cas, go! Now!” Castiel struggled to pull himself up. Once he managed to stand, he was a little wobbly. He did get to the door, though, but he did not leave right away. Mr. Winchester was screaming at Dean. Dean kept him in place, but he was losing his grip. “Cas, I got this. Go!” Castiel opened the door, slowly leaving. Right before he shut the door, he saw John push Dean off of him and start throwing sloppy punches.

Castiel closed the door behind him, sinking to the ground. When had he started crying? He wiped the tears from his cheeks, but they kept coming. He could hear what was happening inside. Dean’s dad was screaming profanities at his son. Dean was begging him to stop. It went on for another three minutes before there was no sounds at all. Castiel held his breath as the door started to pull away from his back. He scrambled to stand up, fearing it would be Mr. Winchester.

Dean greeted him with a bleeding nose, a swollen eye, and a busted lip. His knuckles were also red, but with his father’s blood. He tried to smile at Castiel, but all he got was a wince.

“Not what you expected, huh?” Dean spoke calmly. Castiel didn’t know what he was doing until Dean was already in his arms. Dean was stunned, but not for long. The two boys embraced, hugging each other tightly to their chests. Castiel came to Dean’s apartment with the intent to do exactly what Mr. Winchester had just done, but seeing Dean like this? Maybe Castiel was just too good hearted.

“Dean, I…” Castiel let go of Dean. He looked at him, broken looking. Castiel never thought he would see Dean Winchester look broken. 

“You’re bleeding. That’s what you are.” Dean stripped off his shirt and handed it to Castiel. Castiel carefully pressed the shirt to his forehead. Dean pulled out his cell phone. “Do you mind if I make a quick call?” Castiel slowly shook his head, but it stung so he just gave up and softly said ‘no’.

“Bobby? Yeah, it’s Dean. Can you pick Sammy up from school today?...Well I can’t…Dammit Bobby, please?...Something came up, that’s all…Can Sam also spend the night at your place?...Because I’m having someone over and Sam will just get in the way…No Bobby, it’s for school, Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter…okay, thanks Bobby.” Dean slid his phone back into his pocket. Castiel tried his best not to look over at him. But he did, he couldn’t really help it. Dean had a tattoo on his chest, a date.

“Dean, I am so sorry. I caused that. I’m the reason…” Castiel couldn’t finish the sentence. Dean placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. Castiel bit his lip; Dean looked really bad. Maybe he should bring him to the hospital.

“Cas, this is not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault but my jackass of a father’s. Do not blame yourself for this. I spent so many years blaming myself when shit like this happened and you know what it got me?” Castiel shrugged. “It got me to the point where I had to beat up other kids to make me feel better about myself, to make me feel like I had some control.” Castiel felt his stomach knot. Dean was talking about him. All these years, Castiel had thought Dean beat him up because Castiel was just an easy target and because Crowley said so.

“I’m sure that kid will forgive you.” Dean looked down at his feet, not wanting to meet Castiel’s eyes. His hand fell from Castiel’s shoulder, leaving it cold. Castiel grabbed Dean’s chin, forcing him to look at him.

“I’m so sorry Castiel,” Dean was crying. Castiel felt his own eyes become wet with tears. But then he smiled. Dean looked at him, confusion knit in his brow.

“You called me Castiel.” Dean managed a smile, but his swollen eye prevented him from his usual smirk.

“Yeah, well.” Castiel handed him his shirt back, but Dean didn’t put it back on. It was sixty degrees and he was without a shirt, and it showed. Castiel kept his eyes glued to Dean’s face, studying the cuts and the bruises. His nose had stopped bleeding as did his lip. His eye was still pretty bad though.

“We should get you cleaned up,” Castiel said, breaking their silence. Dean looked back at the apartment’s door. He looked afraid. He was about to protest when Castiel put his hand up to stop him. “We can go to my house. No one will be home.”

“Okay,” Dean slowly agreed.

“I walked here. You might want to put your shirt on.” Dean’s smirk was back, even through his pain.

“Why? Afraid to be seen with such a hot piece of ass?” Castiel scowled at Dean.

“Shut up. I’m still mad at you. Just put your shirt on.” Dean shrugged and did as he was told. Castiel started walking away when Dean called to him.

“Where are you going?”

“My house. I thought we agreed?” Castiel was very confused. Dean shook his head and gave a soft laugh. He fished something out of his pocket. He held up his keys, smiling. Castiel softly shook his head, minding his cut, and walked over to Dean.

“Never leave the house without them,” he said as he slipped his shirt over her his head. “Ready?” Dean asked, now fully clothed. 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean pulled up to the house but didn’t cut the engine. Castiel looked over at him, about to say something, but chose not to when he saw that Dean’s eyes were glazed over. Castiel turned back to face the front to give Dean time to collect his thoughts. The high of adrenalin was gone and the reality of everything was sinking in.

Dean took a deep breath then took the keys out of the ignition. He opened the door without any words being said. Castiel followed him, running past him to open the house door. Castiel stuck his head in before stepping in.

“I thought you said no one was home?” Dean hissed. Castiel gave a nervous laugh as he opened the door wider for them to enter. No one should have been home. It was only 1:25 in the afternoon; Michael had work, Gabriel took classes as the community college, Anna was probably still in the nurse’s office, and Mr. Novak was God knows where.

“Just double checking.” Castiel walked into the kitchen. He went to the sink and grabbed a washcloth. He soaked it in warm water. He beckoned Dean to come closer to him. Dean looked around the house, star-struck. Castiel had forgotten that Anna never invited Dean over.

Castiel told Dean to grab a bar stool which Dean obediently did. Dean pulled the stool over to the sink. He sat down and let Castiel clean his face. He tried not to wince when Castiel went over his eye, but his father had somehow managed to pick up an empty bottle for that. Castiel flinched when Dean did. He was still mad, like he had said, but not as much. He no longer wanted to cause Dean pain.

“Cas?” Castiel made a noise as his response. “I really am sorry about Anna. I thought it’d be easier on the both of us if I did it over text. I never really had to break up with a girlfriend before.” Castiel took the washcloth off his face to rinse it off. He didn’t know how to react to this information. Castiel knew of Dean’s dating history. Anna loved gossip and whenever she would tell Castiel anything, Dean Winchester would come up with a new girlfriend. How had Dean never have to break up with someone before?

“I find that very hard to believe,” was the only thing Castiel could think to say. He continued to dab at Dean’s lip. There was a lot of dried blood caked onto his face now from his lip and nose.

“The girlfriends I’ve had before never lasted long enough for me to have to break up with them. It was more of a…” Dean was at a loss of words. Castiel didn’t seem like the kind of guy to approve of Dean’s one night stands. Why was he even afraid of what Castiel thought? He was about to speak when Castiel interrupted him.

“I understand. You’ve had girls, not girlfriends.” Dean was a little shocked. He didn’t have Castiel pegged as the kind of guy to understand that. He nodded his head under the washcloth.

“But Anna was different. She was not someone I could just…well, you know. I had to pursue her. Court her even. She was a challenge and I love a challenge. I really liked her.” Castiel removed the washcloth, throwing it in the sink. He looked at Dean, studied his face. His nose was broken, that was apparent. His eye was going to just have to heal on its own. Castiel moved around Dean, checking to see if he had any other cuts. Dean sat perfectly still, actually stopped breathing, as Castiel circled him.

Castiel was facing him again. He got really close to Dean’s face. Dean felt his breath on his face, it was hot and smelled like peppermint. Castiel squinted at him, looking him up and down.

“Then why did you break up with her?” He took a step back, folding his arms over his chest. Dean let out his breath. That was a lot harder to explain. Especially to Castiel.

“When Anna and I first started talking, she was wild. She was funny and beautiful and smart. We talked for hours and she told me everything.” Castiel froze. Everything? Anna had told Dean everything?

“What do you mean everything?”

“I mean everything Castiel. She told me about how often your father leaves. She told me about the time you found her in the bathtub with a whole bottle of aspirin in her stomach. And about her extended stay at the hospital. She told me it all. And I, I don’t know, felt ‘ _finally, someone who’s messed up too!_ ’ That’s wrong, I know. You shouldn’t really base relationships on your problems, but she understood.”

“So she knows about your dad?” Dean looked away.

“No. No one knows about him. Well, Bobby and Ellen. And Jo suspects. Sam only knows the bare minimal.” And even still that wasn’t really true. One other person, outside of the family, knew about John; Dean never talked about her though.

“She gave you everything, but you gave her what? A good time?” Castiel was becoming furious again. Dean was taken aback by the comment. Castiel had never been so crass.

“Cas, don’t say things like that. I really did like your sister. I still do! She’s a great girl.” Castiel moved away from Dean. He started pacing around, trying not to say anything he might regret. Being this angry was a new sensation that he never thought he’d feel.

“Then why did you break up with her?” Castiel shouted. Dean got up from his seat and walked over to Castiel. 

“Why does it matter?” Dean questioned. He was right in Castiel’s face. Castiel looked away. Not only because Dean’s cuts and bruises were bad to look at, but because Castiel didn’t want to say. It took the time Castiel took to walk to Deans apartment and watch Dean’s father beat his son up to the time it took to get to this point with Dean for Castiel to really figure it out.

“Because!” He was still shouting. The only time Castiel ever remembers actually shouting dates back to when he was six. Gabriel had stolen the last piece of a puzzle Castiel had been working on (it was a twenty-four piece picture of Captain America) for two hours. Castiel wanted nothing more than to finish it. But then Gabriel took the last piece and ran away with it. Gabe ran to his room, locking the door. Castiel pounded on the door, screaming at his brother. Mr. Novak had just come home from a week-long trip. He was already in his study working on a new project. He came out of the study, marched over to Castiel, picked the screaming boy up, and placed him in his room. Castiel looked up at his father with his big, teary eyes, and politely asked if he could get his puzzle piece back. Mr. Novak asked him to stop being such a child because ‘it was only a stupid puzzle.’ Castiel never did get that last piece. But he did get a valuable lesson: Screaming solves nothing; but it sure feels good.

“Because, I thought you were better than that,” Castiel almost whispered, remembering his lesson learned so many years ago. Sure screaming felt good, but what actual good did it do? Castiel looked away from Dean, feeling stupid for his reasoning. Dean and he had only be partners for a month. That’s hardly any time to get to know someone. And sure they spent every day together, if only for a class period and some time before and after school, but they were mostly talking about the project. Or at least that’s what Castiel had thought they were doing.

Castiel never noticed how he caught on to Dean’s unhealthy habit of biting his pencil when he was nervous, or how Dean bit his lip when he was concentrating, or how when Dean was working very hard he would place his chewed pencil behind his ear. Castiel now, without knowing he knew, could also tell someone Dean’s favorite color, which was green, or that he preferred comedy movies over action, or that Dean’s first choice in cars wasn’t a ‘67 Impala but a ’65 Mustang, but the Impala is now Dean’s most prized possession. Castiel could also tell that Dean cared a lot about his brother and would most likely say he would die for him. And that Dean made a spectacular spaghetti dinner with homemade sauce. But if someone asked Castiel if he knew anything about Dean Winchester, he’d draw a blank.

But at the same time, Castiel felt like he was getting to understand Dean better. Dean wasn’t the bully anymore, he was his business partner. Castiel saw that Dean could take an hour out of thinking Castiel was the biggest loser and be civil towards him.

“Yeah well maybe you shouldn’t have,” Dean finally said. He took a step away from Castiel, turning his back to Castiel. Dean had never had someone think more of him. Everyone he knew always thought the same of him. He was to follow in his father’s footsteps: work on the oil rig and eventually become an alcoholic. Everyone thought that. Dean thought that.

“Anna deserves someone who doesn’t keep secrets from her. And I just couldn’t tell her everything,” he spoke calmly his back still turned.

"I know everything now, why can't she?" Castiel had to physically stop himself from raising his voice.

"No,” Dean snapped at Castiel, “you still don't know everything, Cas.” Dean raised his voice. Castiel flinched. Dean felt a pang of guilt. “You know enough, but not everything," he said, lowering his voice.

“I don’t understand, Dean.”

“What don’t you understand, Cas?” Dean said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his voice level. Castiel thought hard about his response. Dean was on edge, Castiel could tell. He didn’t need to scare him away. He needed to know the truth.

“I know  _enough_ ," Castiel said, stressing Dean's word, "and it doesn’t change anything, at least I don’t think it does. Why can’t you just tell Anna?” Dean turned around, his eyes were glazed with tears. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he cried in front of someone that wasn’t family (excluding last week). Castiel stood still. He had the sudden urge to hug Dean again, if only to make him feel better. But he knew that wouldn’t come as a welcoming gesture.

“Because, Cas, you’re different,” Dean said weakly. Castiel was not expecting that as an answer. He did not understand what Dean meant.

“How am I any different, Dean?” Castiel calmly asked. Dean wiped at his face, ignoring the pain in his nose and eye. He ran a hand through his hair, calculating his next move. His eyes searched Castiel’s face. He was confused and still angry, that was apparent. Dean had so many options, but there was only one that he wanted to take. The one he was too afraid to make.

"Drop it Cas," Dean pleaded. He didn't want to do anything stupid and right at that moment the only thing going through Dean's mind was probably one of the dumbest things he could possibly do. Castiel inched closer to Dean. Dean's hand balled into a fist. Castiel noticed but still advanced forward. "Castiel, I am warning you. Drop it." Castiel reached out for Dean. Dean pulled back, snaping himself out of Castiel's reach. He kept his back turned to Castiel. 

“Dean,” Castiel said, getting impatient. Dean turned back around but looked at the ground, not being able to look at Castiel anymore. “Dean, look at me.” Dean took a deep breath, looked up. Their eyes locked. Dean's look was pure determination, Castiel's was that of sheer panic. Castiel had never seen Dean, or anyone for that matter, look at him that way. There was something animalistic about it.

"Fuck it," Dean muttered as he quickly closed the gap between himself and Castiel.

 

* * *

Dean’s hands grabbed Castiel’s face, holding him in place. With a slight hesitation, if only a second, Dean’s lips covered Castiel’s. The pain was there, but Dean couldn't care less about it. Castiel tensed, but soon seemed to pool around Dean’s lips. Dean’s hand traveled to the nape of Castiel’s neck, pulling him closer. Castiel’s hands went to Dean’s waist, wrapping around him.

Castiel’s mind should have been racing. He should have been thinking of everything that was wrong with what was happening. He should have pushed Dean away. He should have, but he didn’t. His mind was blank, of all the times to go blank, it had to been the exact moment Dean’s teeth were lightly biting his bottom lip, giving Dean perfect access to Castiel’s mouth. Because for the first time in his life, Castiel was just doing what felt right, not what was  _actually_  right.

Castiel wanted it to continue, he really did, oh how he did, but he had to pull away. Dean’s lips left his, leaving them both panting. Castiel’s first kiss was not what he had expected, but it was a lot better than what he had hoped for. He didn’t even know he actually wanted it until it was happening. With his lips swollen, he slowly ran a hand over them, the taste of Dean’s breath still on them. He smiled.

Dean rested his forehead on Castiel’s, a small smile on his now extremely pink lips. Castiel finally caught his breath. Then the thinking kicked in. He had just kissed Dean. Winchester. His childhood tormentor, his business class partner, his sister’s ex-boyfriend. Dean Winchester. What was he thinking? What was Dean thinking? What had they been talking about beforehand? Because Castiel’s brain was a little scrambled at the moment, he couldn’t remember a thing.

“You honestly don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Dean confessed. Castiel took a step back, looking Dean over. Dean Winchester the boy who had a different girl on his arm almost every week had wanted, and accomplished, to kiss Castiel. That wasn’t something Castiel thought would ever happen. He was torn between it as well. On one hand, Anna…on the other, never had Castiel felt something so electrifying.

Castiel bit his lips, thinking. Dean let out a low groan in the back of his throat. Castiel looked at him, his cheeks pink. He’d never heard someone make that kind of noise.

“Stop biting your goddamned lips, Cas. You always do it and it causes me pain, literally.” Castiel walked away from Dean, still thinking. Dean stood still, not sure what his next move was. That move was purely impulse. He was moving in the dark with that one. If Castiel had rejected him, he would have died of embarrassment. Honestly, nothing Castiel ever said or did made Dean think Castiel wanted Dean to kiss him, but if Dean hadn’t done then, he never would have forgiven himself. Sometimes, you just had to take chances.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel and Dean were sat in Castiel’s room. They moved from the kitchen when Castiel noticed the time and that Michael might be coming home for lunch. Castiel was at his desk, lips pursed, deep in thought. Dean was on Castiel’s bed, flipping through the book that he had plucked off of the nightstand. Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest so fast he honestly thought he might go into cardiac arrest. After their scene in the kitchen Castiel didn’t say anything. All Castiel did was start walking upstairs. Dean didn’t know if he was supposed to leave or follow but since he didn’t want to leave, he chose to follow him. He was relieved when Castiel didn’t kick him out.

Castiel’s mind was a swamp that was becoming increasingly over flowed. His thoughts were tangled vines that kept getting severed by the swelling amount of more thoughts. _What about Anna? What about Dean being Dean Winchester? What about Michael and Gabriel and both of their fathers? What about our project? When did Dean develop these feelings? What about the fact Dean still won’t open up? Are Dean’s feelings something I reciprocate?_ The only one he could answer was the last one: Were Dean’s feelings something he reciprocated? Answer: yes.

Castiel’s head actually started to hurt.

Dean didn’t even know what book he had picked up. The words were a blur to him. His head was swarming with his own thoughts. _Did that just happen? What the hell is wrong with me? How did I think that was a good thing to do? Castiel is going to hate me. He’s going to kick me out of his house, out of his life. He’s going to demand to get a new partner, which Dick won’t allow. I’m going to have to drop that class. God, and I needed an easy A. Not that I blame him. God, I’m so fucking stupid! But, damn…it was a whole lot better than I had dreamed it to be. When the hell did I even start to dream about kissing Castiel Novak? Fucking stupid. Jesus my face hurts! Shit, did he just…He did, he looked over at me. Oh God, he’s walking over to me. Stop being such a fucking girl, Dean. Okay, breathe._

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice was as calm as ever. Dean shook his head of all his thoughts. He placed the book down and looked up. Castiel sat next to him. Both boys were tense. Neither of them knew how to react to what had just happened. “I think you should talk to Anna.” Castiel thought about it before he walked over to Dean, which took every ounce of courage in him to do. He felt most wrong about Dean being Anna’s ex-boyfriend of no more than three hours.

“Cas,” Dean was not expecting that, at all. He was prepared to be punched in the face or at least yelled at. “What do you want me to say to her? I told you I’m not telling her about my dad.” Then Castiel did something Dean really was expecting. Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own. It brought Dean back to last Friday: Castiel’s first insight to Dean’s life. Unlike how Dean thought most people would react, Castiel stayed. And he even held Dean’s hand. Castiel still didn’t know how much that meant to Dean.

“You don’t have to tell her the whole truth.” It took everything Castiel had to say that. Castiel never lied, or at least he _tried_ to never lie. “Just tell her you are having personal problems that you don’t want to drag her into. She’ll be mad, but I think she’ll understand, deep down at least.” Castiel had really thought about this. Dean looked down at their hands, fingers intertwined. He didn’t pull away this time. He knew Castiel didn’t know, but when Sam caught them and Dean pulled his hand away like he was ashamed, he saw the look on Castiel’s face before he left the room. He looked ashamed of himself. Dean promised himself that he would never make Castiel that way ever again.

“Cas, I never thought you would want me to lie. It’s kind of, hot.” Castiel tensed. He had thought about it. He liked Dean. Despite all odds, he really liked Dean. He still just wasn’t prepared to be in the life where Dean Winchester liked him back. Dean squeezed his hand and gently nudged his shoulder.

“Come on, I’m kidding. Well, kind of.” Castiel allowed himself to relax. But then he turned to Dean. He took a deep breath before he proceeded.

“Dean, I’d also like to talk about, well,” he said looking down at their hands. “This. More specifically, what happened downstairs.” Dean took his hand back. Castiel had seemed to be into it, or at least from what Dean understood of the male body, he thought Castiel was into it. Dean had never been with a guy before though, but he understood _himself_ pretty well.

“Right, that. Look if you’re freaked out by it, it never had to happen. Lapse of judgment on my part. I just thought…you know, why not.” Castiel took Dean’s hand into his again. He didn’t know why, but he liked the feel of Dean’s calloused fingertips against his hand. He smiled at Dean.

“I am freaked out, a lot. But,” Castiel kept his grip on Dean’s hand tight as he felt Dean start to pull away, “I liked it. Really liked it, actually.” Dean was surprised, but in the best way possible.

“So, what does that mean?”

“I was hoping you would tell me.” Both boys were at a loss of words. Neither of them had ever been in any situation remotely near this before. Dean knew that Castiel wasn’t the kind of boy to be treated like a flavor of the week and nowhere in his mind did he want to treat Castiel like that. But Dean had never been with a boy before so it was new territory. Dean had never really wanted to be with a boy before. Until Castiel came into his life for more than the few minutes it took to give him a black eye or shove him into the lockers.

Castiel was a different story completely. Castiel never thought about things of that nature. He knew that any relationship started in Lawrence would end in Lawrence and Lawrence was not a place Castiel wanted to end up. Sure there were pretty girls but none that Castiel ever thought about after the initial first sight; and all the guys that Castiel had ever run into, besides Chuck, may not have been as bad as Crowley and Dean, but they weren’t much better. Castiel watched as Anna and went on date after date with loser after loser and Gabriel went on date after date with anything and everything and he came to the conclusion that dating in Lawrence was a waste of time.

“Well, what do you want it to mean?” Dean was as bad as a fish out of water. He really was in uncharted territory. Castiel thought about it. Did he want a relationship? That sounded so formal and he thought it might freak Dean out. Besides, he didn’t know if he wanted to be in a relationship.

“Does it have to mean anything? Can we just take it one step at a time?” That was something Castiel could do. Not rushing into anything was something Castiel thought was a great idea. Dean mulled it over. No labels or hassle of worrying about labels; it was something he could get used to.

“So, what? We just do what feels right?”

“We do what feels right,” Castiel proclaimed. Dean gave his smirk to Castiel. Castiel looked at him, skeptical of his motives. Dean pushed Castiel onto his back. Castiel let out a giggle, yes a giggle, and just let it happen. Because it did feel right. Dean laid on top of him, kissing his collar, his neck, moving his way up to his jawline, the corner of his mouth, then finally his lips.

Dean’s lips were something of a mystery. They were full and pink, very kissable, Castiel thought. But they didn’t feel like what one might expect when they were kissing Dean Winchester. Dean was not someone that should have extremely soft lips, but he did. His lips should not taste like cherry, but they did. His lips should not be something Castiel craved, but they were.

Castiel was something of a mystery. He was brilliant and shy, very kissable, Dean thought. But he didn’t act like what one might expect him to act like when they got to know Castiel Novak. Castiel was not someone that should make Dean weak in the knees, but he did. He should not have been able to make Dean moan that way, but he did. Castiel was not someone Dean should crave, but he was.

* * *

Dean had left around four. Anna had karate after school on Thursdays, Gabriel was most likely at a bar, and Michael never did show up at the house for lunch, he was probably staying late at work. Castiel sat on his bed mulling over the afternoon. It started with him wanting to kill Dean Winchester and ended with him never wanting to let Dean Winchester go.

 Castiel and Dean had spent the afternoon together. They laid in bed together, their fingers intertwined, stealing kisses ever so often. They talked about everything and nothing. Then Castiel asked Dean about his tattoo.

“November twenty-third was the night my mother died. She was,” Dean stuttered. He never talked about his mother. Not to anyone. Not Sam—he didn’t get the chance to really get to know her, so why bother? Not to Bobby or Ellen—they always told Dean the same thing. Not to his father— but that wasn’t the only thing Dean didn’t talk to his father about. One person knew about Dean's mother, but Dean didn't talk to her anymore.

 “It’s okay, Dean. You don’t have to tell me” Castiel could hear it in Dean’s voice that he didn’t like talking about this. They were laying side by side in Castiel’s bed. Dean had his arm around Castiel, holding him close to his side. He turned to look over at Castiel, giving him a weak smile.

“I want to.” Castiel gave a small nod and gave Dean a peck on the lips. Dean took a deep breath, going back to that night.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know about Dean's mother you have to wait until chapter 10! It's a good story.


	10. Chapter 10

It was Thanksgiving day, John Winchester had just gotten home from a four month job on the rig. The turkey that Mary Winchester had burned was inedible. John laughed as he saw his wife scream at the oven with a fire extinguisher in hand. His four-year-old son was sitting on the counter, laughing. He plucked the extinguisher out of Mary’s hand, kissing her on the temple.

“Why don’t we just go to the Roadhouse?” John suggested. Mary blew the few strands of hair that fell in her face, accepting defeat. John picked his son off the counter, placing him on his shoulders. The little boy hugged his father’s head.

“Come to mama,” Mary said to the newest member of the Winchester family. The six-month-old was busy bouncing in a swing set up in the kitchen. Mary picked up the babbling baby, placing a gentle kiss on his head.

“We ready to go?” John asked.

“Charge!” The little boy who was still sat on his shoulders shouted. Mary and John laughed at their son as they walked out of the home and towards the last meal they would ever share.

Bobby Singer was sitting at the bar when they arrived. John walked over to his friend as Mary took the boys to a booth. Ellen Harvelle greeted the Winchesters like family, which they practically were. Bobby set down an empty glass, demanding another one. Ellen sighed as she got the lush another beer. John took the bottle from Bobby before he had time to pour it into his glass. John hated seeing his friend like this. John understood though; Bobby had just lost his wife.

Mary had to keep telling the rambunctious toddler to sit still, but all he wanted to do was run over to his friend Jo, Ellen daughter. Jo was seated at the bar with a coloring book, sipping on an apple juice. Mary gave in and let her son play with Jo. Ellen walked over to the stool where her daughter sat and set her on the floor with Mary and John’s boy. The two children ran around the place, screaming and laughing.

John invited Bobby to sit with him and Mary, but Bobby grunted a decline, leaving the restaurant. Ellen followed him out, making sure he didn’t drive. When Ellen returned she offered the Winchester’s a Thanksgiving dinner that was less than traditional: cheese burgers, sweet potato fries, baked beans, and coleslaw.

“Dean,” the little boy was about to take a bite out of his cut up burger when his father caught him. The little boy looked up with his big, innocent, green eyes. “We have to say what we’re thankful for.”

“I’m for one thankful for Ellen,” Mary said with a laugh.

“Ain’t nothing to it, honey!” Ellen said from behind the bar. She handed her daughter, who was back at the bar, another juice box.

“Well I’m thankful for my beautiful family,” John said, taking Mary’s hand into his own.

“Dean, sweetie?” Mary asked, turning to Dean who had already started eating. “What are you thankful for?” Dean looked up at his mother, wiping his mouth with a tiny hand. He pouted his lip as he thought long and hard about what he was thankful for. Then he got it, the one thing he loved more than he thought he would.

“My baby brother. I thought he’d be really stupid, but I like him.” Dean smiled down at his baby brother who was smiling up at his big brother. Mary pulled Dean to her side, kissing his head. It was this moment that should have been one that when thought back on brought a smile to everyone’s face. But in the next fifteen minutes things changed rapidly.

“Alright! Nobody move!” Someone kicked in the door to the Roadhouse. Mary screamed, hugging Dean close to her body while covering the baby who was wailing in the carrier. Ellen ran around the bar to get her daughter. The masked man held up a gun, waving it around. “I said, nobody move!” He let off a warning shot. Dean started crying.

“Look buddy, we don’t want any trouble. We’re just trying to have dinner.” John got up from the booth, despite Mary clutching his arm, begging him not to get up. The man pointed the gun at John.

“Stop moving!” He turned the gun to Ellen. She was tucking Jo behind her legs. “Give me all the money in the register!” Ellen had her jaw set hard, trying not to show any emotion. She and Jo moved as one, behind the bar where the register was.

“And you,” he screamed, pointing the gun back at John. “All the money you got.” John reached into his pocket, getting his wallet out. Mary had moved Sam and Dean behind her, blocking them with her body. She was trying her best to calm the screaming boys. The older boy had gotten his crying down to just sniffles; he was now also trying to soothe the younger boy.

“It’s okay Sammy,” he kept whispering over and over again. Mary was still blocking them with her body when the man in the mask walked over. John tried to stop him, but the gun the man held was pointed right at him.

“Shut that baby up!” The man yelled.

“I’m, we’re, trying.” Mary sobbed. Ellen placed the money on the counter of the bar. With the gun still pointed at John, he walked to the money.

“The baby shuts up now, or I drop the kid.” The gun was now pointed at a four-year-old boy who looked up at his mother in fear. Mary let out a body shuddering sob. She _shhh_ ed the screaming baby, but nothing was working. John tried to move slowly towards the gunman.

The next five seconds went in slow motion. John jumping at the man, trying to knock the gun out of his hand. The gun going off. Mary’s blood curdling scream. Dean moving his body to be over his baby brother. The man falling to the floor, John on top of him. Mary falling on top of John, blood pouring out of her stomach.

John pushed himself off the man, turning to his wife. The man got up, running out of the bar. Ellen told Jo to call 9-1-1 then rushed over to Mary. Mary was gasping for air, her lungs were on fire. Dean jumped off the bench and went to his mother.

“Mama loves you. Always remember that.” Mary managed to get out before her last breath was taken. John shouted at Dean to take his brother to the back with Jo. Dean hesitated, but did as he was told. He grabbed Sammy and ran. Jo was there telling the 9-1-1 operator that a masked man had just came to the bar and shot someone.

The ambulance came, but they were too late. John sat on the floor, clutching to his wife who was now limp and soaked in her own blood. The paramedics told him he needed to let her go. He continued to sob as they took his wife, the mother of his two sons, the love of his life, away.

He walked into the back and picked up the baby. Dean reached for his hand, but John wouldn’t take it.

* * *

“Dean,” Castiel said, not knowing what else to say. Surprisingly Dean wasn’t crying. They were no longer laying down, they were sitting up, leaning against the wall. Dean was looking straight ahead, eyes cold. Sure, they eventually caught the man, but only after three years when the damage had been done. Dean was only four, he didn’t remember most of that night. When he asked Ellen about it, she would always deny him the story. Eventually though he wore her down and that was story she told him.

“I got the tattoo to always remember it, you know. It was the worst night of my life and I barely remember it. I feel like I should always remember, no matter what.” Castiel rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean leaned his head on Castiel’s. The two sat there in silence for a long time. But no words needed to be said at that time.

“Plus,” Dean said, breaking the silence, “it makes me look like a badass.” Castiel shoved Dean’s shoulder with his own, giving a soft laugh. They went silent again. Castiel tried to not over think everything that he had just been told. Dean got wrapped up in the thoughts that always followed after he thought of his mother. _What would she have been like? How would their family ended up if she were still alive_? Castiel kept his hand tightly wrapped around Dean’s the entire time, letting him know that he was still there.

* * *

After Dean left, Castiel went to the kitchen to start to make dinner. No one was home, even though it was six. Castiel felt so great after his afternoon with Dean that he decided to make a nice meal that his family could actually enjoy. He pulled out the eggs and the flour and all the ingredients that the website said he would need to make pancakes. 

Michael came home first. He loosened his tie and stripped off his suit’s jacket. Castiel flipped the pancakes onto the plate as soon as Michael sank down onto a kitchen chair.

“Did you make pancakes?” Castiel answered his question by placing a plate in front of him. The syrup and butter was already on the table, waiting for the first member of the Novak family to enjoy.

“I smell pancakes!” Gabriel shouted as he entered the house. He ran into the kitchen, throwing his things down and then throwing himself into a seat. Castiel didn’t even mind the rudeness of his brother. Castiel was actually happy and nothing was going to make him feel otherwise.

The three brothers enjoyed Castiel’s pancakes, chattering aimlessly about their days. Michael complained about a new client that was impossible to please; Gabriel bragged about the professor he shamelessly flirted with to bump his grade up; Castiel added that his teacher was being a dick (which he laughed to himself at the play on words) causing Michael and Gabriel to notice the chipper mood their perpetually stiff brother was being. They questioned him, but he just shrugged, saying that he just had a good day. They eyed him, but didn’t press any further.

By eight o’clock Anna had yet to show up. Karate didn’t take that long, Castiel knew. Castiel thought that maybe she went out with friends, but she usually checked in. He called her. She didn’t answer. Castiel went to his father’s study that Michael had been claiming as his own. Michael was sitting at the desk, pecking at his computer, yelling into his Bluetooth about not caring what the ‘incompetent asshole wanted to change, the pitch was perfect the way it was’. Castiel poked his head in. Michael held his finger up, making Castiel wait in the doorway. A few more swear words and possible aneurysms later, Michael tore the headset off his ear and threw it across the room.

“What is it Castiel?” Castiel knew the bite in his voice wasn’t directed at him personally, but it still hurt. Michael could see it in Castiel’s eyes. “I’m sorry. Is something wrong?” Castiel moved further into the room, taking a seat in front of the desk.

“Anna’s still not home and she hasn’t called.” Michael let out a sigh of frustration.

“Are you kidding me? _Anna’s not home_? Castiel, sometimes Anna doesn’t come home. She’ll be back tomorrow or maybe even tonight. Are you not aware of who your sister is? Now leave me so I can work.” Castiel got up from his seat and left the room. Was he the only one who cared about her? Castiel thought about going to Gabriel for help; but when he walked into the living room, Gabe was sprawled out on the couch, flipping through the channels, cradling a beer bottle. There wasn’t much else Castiel could do for his sister. So much for a good night.

At two in the morning Castiel’s phone went off. He knew he should have turned it on silent. Whenever he didn’t things like this happened. He somehow managed to open his eyes and fumble around for it. His eyes hadn’t even adjusted to the brightness level of the screen before he answered the call.

“Cas?” The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. It wasn’t Dean, he knew that, but no one else called him that.

“Who is this?” He listened to the person, slowly waking up. When the person hung up, Castiel was fully awake, trying to find some pants. He was hopping around on one foot, phone still attached to his ear and shoulder even though they had already hung up, with one foot in a pair of pajama pants. He couldn’t believe what he was just told. No, actually, he could. He just hated the fact that he could believe it. Now all he had to do was get there.

Castiel didn’t have a car, but he knew where Gabriel kept his keys. He found a shirt then jogged down the stairs, hoping that Michael was sleeping and Gabriel was passed out. Castiel didn’t want to do this, but he knew he had to. He found the keys in the kitchen drawer under the takeout menus like they always are. He grabbed a coat before he left then snuck out the back door. 


	11. Chapter 11

“Cas? Cas!” Dean shouted as soon as the door to the Roadhouse was open.  He was seated at a booth, surrounded by five empty beer bottles. Castiel started to make his way to Dean but something, or rather someone, at the bar caught his eye. A certain redhead who was slouched over at the bar was face first against the wood, passed out. Jo Harvelle was wiping down the bar, collecting shot glass after shot glass that made a halo around Anna’s head.

“Cas! I’m so glad you came,” Jo said. She picked up the last shot glass and sighed. “Now, take your sister home. She and Dean have about dried my bar, my mom’s gonna think that we were robbed.” Castiel walked over to Anna. What was Anna doing here? Besides getting drunk. He tried to get her to put her arms around him, but she was limp. He would have thought that she was dead if she weren’t breathing.

“Cas!” Dean called to him. “What’re you doing here?” Dean stumbled over to him, throwing his arm around him.

“Dean, what are _you_ doing here?” Castiel had given up on getting Anna. He would just have to carry her.

“I ran into Anna on my way home and decided to have the talk you said I needed to have with her. But she said the only way she’d speak to me was if she was drunk.” Dean spoke in a slur. Jo tried, poorly, to hide a laugh. Castiel sighed, disappointed in both Anna and Dean.

“And you thought that was a good idea?” Castiel shrugged Dean off of him. Dean wobbled a little, but steadied himself with the bar.

“Ah come on, it wasn’t _that_ bad of an idea. She talked to me.” Dean struggled to pull himself onto a barstool.

“Oh God did she!” Jo interrupted. “That sister of yours sure has a mouth on her. And don’t even get me started on Lush over there.” Jo was putting up the almost empty bottles of liquor that Castiel was sure Anna and Dean had taken from Jo. Castiel nodded his head somberly; he knew exactly how Anna could be.

“What did they talk about?” Castiel asked Jo directly. He didn’t feel like Dean or Anna was in a good enough state to talk. Jo threw the rag over her shoulder and told Castiel to hold on. She grabbed something from under the bar first. Then placed a water bottle in front of Dean.

“Drink this,” she told him. Dean mumbled something under his breath. Jo glared at him. He followed her instructions. She started walking to the back of the restaurant, Castiel followed her.

Jo started rearranging some bottles of clear and amber liquids, then she began talking: “Dean brought Anna here even though he knows that Mom closes up early on Thursdays. I was still cleaning up when he showed up with your sister. He begged me to let them come in; me being the best damn friend the bastards ever had, I let him.”

“But why did you let them drink? Both of them are underage!” Jo laughed at that, thinking it was a joke. Castiel looked at her, confused. Why was she laughing? Underage drinking was not a laughing matter.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to,” she said sarcastically. Castiel shook his head, clearly disappointed in Dean and Anna and even Jo.

“It’s a shame, that’s all.” Jo clenched her jaw, trying not to throw the bottle of vodka that she had in her hand at Castiel. She was a good friend, she was watching Dean and Anna. She wasn’t going to let either of them drive home, that’s why she had called Castiel.

“Look, do you want to hear the story or not?”

“Yes, please continue.” Castiel found a crate and sat down. Jo went back to rearranging the alcohol.

“Dean started apologizing and saying how his life was so screwed up at the moment that he didn’t want to pull her in it before they had even ordered. The alcohol started flowing and Anna got a little testy, throwing a few choice words. Dean sat and took the abuse. After a few rounds of shots though, Anna passed out. That’s when it got weird.” She turned around, looking conflicted. Castiel stood up. He didn’t like the way she said ‘weird’. What had Dean done?

“What do you mean, ‘weird’?” Jo craned her neck to see if either Dean or Anna were listening. Anna was still passed out and Dean was drinking his water, eyes closed, looking like he was about to die.

“Well after Anna yelled at Dean for being an asshole, she passed out, like hard. Then Dean, well he started talking to me. And you know Dean and I have been friends since birth so I let him talk. He was babbling on and on about how he fucked up, or how fucked up things were; I really couldn’t tell with the slur he had developed. But then he got really quiet, like he was thinking about something that was life or death important. I didn’t like it.” Castiel bit the inside of his cheek to keep from asking questions. He had a very bad feeling about what Jo was about to say next.

“Then he looked me straight in the eye and said ‘Jo, you wanna know the _real_ reason I broke up with Anna?” Castiel’s heart stopped, he held his breath. “And of course I said I did, because I thought he had just told her the real reason and I was intrigued.” Castiel got off the crate. He felt fidgety, like his skin was made of ants. If Dean really told her, than Jo knew about them.

“What did Dean say, exactly?” Jo sighed and turned back to face Castiel. She walked closer to him, putting her hand on his shoulder, giving him a sincere look.

“I think you know, Cas.” Castiel didn’t like the way she said his nickname. It had taken him long enough for him to get used to Dean calling him that. But he didn’t say anything about it. He had to know the exact words Dean had said. Because Castiel knew that he could have said the one thing he shouldn’t have said, or he could have just said something about his father. Castiel held onto the hope that the later was the case.

“Please just tell me what he said,” he begged her. Jo didn’t want to say it for the slight chance that Dean hadn’t told anyone else this information. But the look on Castiel’s face, Jo knew she was safe with telling him.  

“He told me, ‘Jo, I broke up with Anna because I think I’m falling in love with her brother.’ Naturally I laughed, thinking he was joking. But the look in his eyes…man I’ll tell you, that boy out there has got it bad for you.” Castiel couldn’t breathe. Dean had told Jo Harvelle. From Dean’s stories, Castiel could conclude that Jo was a trustworthy friend, but that still didn’t make Castiel feel better about it.

“He what?” Castiel was in shock.  

“Now, Cas don’t think me a fool. I called you saying I had someone here for you to get. I didn’t say it was Dean, but when you walked in you weren’t shocked to see him, you were relieved. Then, and only after you had seen Dean, you saw your sister. You were surprised to see _her_ here, Castiel. You came here to get Dean.” He didn’t know how to respond. He had jumped out of bed at two in the morning to get Dean. How does one even begin to explain that?

“Yes, well…I’m going to take my sister home now.” It was the only sentence he could say without stumbling over his words like a moron.

“Why don’t you take them both? I need to get home before Mom or Bobby figure out I’m not there. Please?” Castiel didn’t know if that was such a good idea. Then he thought about the options that were laid out in front of him. Let Jo take Dean and have her bring him home where his father could possibly catch him sneaking in and beat him again or let Jo take him to her house where Sam is for the night and have Sam see his brother like that. He decided that taking Dean to his house was probably the best option. He agreed, even though he felt as if he had just been manipulated.

“Jo?” He turned around before he left the backroom. He couldn’t get up the nerves to finish the sentence. But Jo knew what he was asking. She nodded, giving a small laugh.

“Don’t worry, Castiel. No one’s got to know.” He thanked her with a simple look then walked out to gather a very drunk Dean and a passed out sister.

It took some coaxing, but Dean agreed to go in Castiel’s car and not the Impala. Anna was easier, Castiel had just had to pick her up. Dean was very _handsy_ in the car. Castiel had to swat his hand away while trying to keep the car on the road. It was a miracle that they made it to Castiel’s house without running off road.

Castiel scooped Anna up from the backseat. He told Dean to stay in the car until he came and got him. Dean nodded like an enthusiastic child. Castiel somehow managed to open the door and walk up a flight of stairs with his passed out sister cradled in his arms. He placed her on her bed then ran down to get Dean. But Dean wasn’t in the car anymore, he was face flat on the pavement. Castiel ran over to him, picking him up.

“I fell,” Dean giggled. Castiel couldn’t help but laugh at him. He was exactly like a child. Castiel made Dean put his arm around him so he could carry him inside.

It was extremely hard, but Castiel managed to get Dean up the stairs. They walked—Dean stumbled while Castiel kept him upright—to Castiel’s room. Castiel put him on the bed. Dean reached up, pulling Castiel to him. Dean started kissing Castiel, but the stench of alcohol on Dean’s breath was too much for Castiel. He pulled back from Dean and told him to stay put.

Castiel ran to the kitchen and gathered two cups of water and a bottle of aspirin. He ran back up the stairs, really hoping that Michael and Gabriel wouldn’t wake up. He snuck back into Anna’s room, placing a cup of water and two aspirin’s on her nightstand. He leaned down, kissing her forehead.

“I’m so sorry, Anna,” he whispered. She didn’t respond. He left the room, slowly shutting the door to try to make as little noise as possible. When he got back to his room, Dean was curled up in the corner of his bed. Castiel walked slowly over to the nightstand and put the water and the bottle of aspirin on it. He stripped his jacket, throwing it over the chair for his desk. He hated sleeping in a shirt and pants, but with Dean in his bed he thought he’d make an exception. He crawled in next to Dean, trying not to move the sleeping drunk.

“Cas,” Dean mumbled, crawling over to where Castiel had settled down. Dean laid his head on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel put his arm around Dean, pulling him closer to his side. Castiel could feel the smile on Dean’s lips. Castiel couldn’t help but smile too.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel turned his head, giving Dean a kiss on the head. Dean opened his eyes through the sleep, and gave a sleepy smile.

“Goodnight, baby,” Dean slurred before he fell asleep. Castiel didn’t fall back asleep.

_Tomorrow is going to be hell_ Castiel thought. 


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel was right. He was still awake by the time his alarm was set to go off. Being courteous to the soon-to-be extremely hungover boy who was still curled up against his side, he turned it off before it went off. He laid there, begging that he could get some sleep, but he knew it was useless. He had to get up for school.

He tried to move Dean without waking him up, but when he moved, Dean pulled him back. Castiel sighed, accepting defeat, for now. He could spare thirty more minutes before Michael was sure to come in his room to check on him. He closed his eyes, but the pressure and heat of Dean’s body was too heavy for him to fall asleep.

There was no way that Dean was going to be up before 6:30, so Castiel devised a plan. He somehow managed to get out of Dean’s grip. He stripped down to his boxers to make it more realistic that he had been sleeping then went down stairs. Michael and Gabriel were sitting at the table. Gabriel was reading the back of the cereal box as he absentmindedly ate; Michael was reading the New York Times while he sipped his coffee.

“Castiel? Are you alright?” Michael asked when he looked up from the paper. Castiel hadn’t had time to look in the mirror, but if he had he wouldn’t have been that surprised. The bags under his eyes were as dark as Michael’s coffee, he had morning stubble that he usually shaved off before coming down for breakfast, and he was very sluggish. One look at him and anyone could tell that he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“Um, no. I’m not feeling well. I think I’m going to stay home today.”

“Yeah Anna’s not feeling too hot either. Is something going around at school?” Michael asked, going back to the paper. Gabriel stifled a laugh. Michael looked at Gabe, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re hungover! Dude come on, you honestly can’t be that stupid.”

“Castiel doesn’t drink,” Michael said, his eyes never leaving the business section.

“Yeah and neither do I,” Gabriel snorted. “Michael, he’s a seventeen-year-kid. He drinks.”

“You’ve been drinking since you were fifteen, jackass. Not everyone is like you though. Castiel doesn’t drink, he doesn’t have the balls to break the law.” While Michael was correct, Castiel still didn’t like the way he was talking about him.

“Actually I snuck out to a bar last night. Gabriel’s right. So, like I said, I’m going back to bed.” Castiel spoke rapidly. Nothing he just said was lie, but it still didn’t feel right. Michael opened his mouth to say something but Castiel was going back to his room already.

When he returned, Dean was sprawled out, taking over the bed. Castiel pushed him over and fell onto the bed. He was so tired, all he wanted was an hour of sleep.

* * *

At 10:15, Castiel was pulled from sleep from a sound downstairs. He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep, but he was glad he had. He wanted to see what the noise was but found he couldn’t move. Dean had tangled himself with Castiel’s limbs.

“Shit!” Castiel could hear Anna scream then a loud noise, something breaking. Dean groaned, his breath hitting the back of Castiel’s neck. Dean’s eyes peeled open. He looked at the back of Castiel’s head, confused as to where he was. He moved away from Castiel, untangling himself. Castiel felt suddenly cold from the absence of Dean’s body.

“Cas?” Dean said, his voice gravely with sleep. “Cas why aren’t you wearing pants?” Castiel had forgotten to put his pajama pants back on after he talked to Michael and Gabriel. He rolled out of the bed, falling on the floor. Dean wanted to laugh but his head felt like a woodpecker had taken it hostage.

“Um, well... I…don’t sleep with pants on,” he gave up with trying to come up with a lie. It just wasn’t in his nature. Dean couldn’t help but smile. He liked flustered Cas. He rolled over, his face pressed against the pillow. He let out a deep breath. His face hurt and for a second he had forgotten what had happened yesterday with his father. Then it came back to him.

“What happened last night?” He rolled over again, looking down at Castiel who was still on the floor. Castiel looked up, noticing Dean’s massive bedhead. Castiel couldn’t suppress the smile. 

“Uh, well you talked to Anna. And drank a lot of alcohol.” Castiel decided that he wasn’t going to tell Dean about Jo knowing. If Jo wanted him to know that she knew, she’d tell him. Castiel didn’t want Dean to think he messed up, even though he did.

“Right. Do you have any—” Castiel reached up and handed Dean the water and the aspirin. Dean thanked him, taking the water in one big gulp. He swallowed the pills dry. Castiel got up to refill the water. When he stood up Dean smiled. How did he forget he wasn’t any pants again? He frantically searched for a his pajama pants.

“Nope, pants stay off,” Dean said, grabbing at the pants Castiel had just found. Castiel’s cheeks burned bright red. Dean, in his drunken stupor, had called Castiel _baby_. And while yesterday afternoon was…fun…Castiel still wasn’t completely sure what he wanted from Dean. They agreed no labels. _Baby_ wasn’t a label, per say but it was yet another pet name. Then Castiel thought, ‘ _Dean probably doesn’t even remember_ ’ and he felt a little better about it.   

“I’m putting my pants on, Dean.” Dean gave an exaggerated sigh as Castiel grabbed his pajamas and slipped them on. Dean laid back on the pillow, his eyes closed. He hadn’t been that drunk in a long time. He tried to not drink what with who his father is and all, but last night talking to Anna and having to keep most of the truth from her, drinking just didn’t seem like a bad idea anymore.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Anna’s voice came again followed by another loud crash. Dean groaned at the excessive noise.

“Make it stop,” he complained. Castiel got up to see what Anna was doing. 

“I’ll be right back. Do you want anything to eat?” Castiel didn’t really know how to handle hungover people. Sure Gabriel drank, but he never really got drunk and Michael didn’t drink and Anna, well she was always the same.

“No,” Dean said almost gagging. Just the thought of food made him want to throw up. Castiel nodded his head as he walked down the stairs to see what Anna was doing.

“Goddammit!” Anna shouted as another plate came crashing down. She was kneeling on the counter, reaching up for plates that were too high for her. A little pile of shattered glass scattered around the floor below her. Castiel ran and got some shoes before stepping into the kitchen.

“Anna, what are you doing?” Castiel offered her his hand and a pair of shoes. She swatted him away.

“I want to make some eggs but I can’t reach any fucking plates. They keep falling and shattering.”  

“Maybe because you’re too short to get them. Let me get one for you.” He was just trying to be a good brother, she knew that, but she was too pissed at the world to see the compassion. She wanted the plates to break. She wanted something else to be broken for once. Castiel knew that. He wanted to help. He wanted to fix his sister but he knew he couldn’t. And that killed him inside.

“Castiel, leave me the fuck alone.” She blinked back the tears then went back to struggling to get a plate. Castiel placed the shoes on the counter next to her then got the broom out of the closet and started sweeping up the broken pieces of plate. A few more fell, but Castiel was there to catch them.

After the glass was swept up, Castiel set the plate he had caught on the counter next to Anna. He was about to go back to his room when he decided to take some crackers and some apple juice up to Dean. As he was leaving, Anna, coming off the counter, ran to him and hugged him.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into his chest which was still bare. The guilt was a hot ball in his stomach, but he just hugged his sister back, pushing his feelings aside to make sure Anna was happy, if only for a little bit.

“Wait, why are you even home?” She looked up at Castiel. He slowly let her go from the hug.

“I had a long night.”

“Right, sorry about that. Dean, well he and I talked. Then I guess I drank too much. Anyway, thanks.” She stood up on her toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He gave her a kiss on the forehead before he left the kitchen to take care of a hungover Dean Winchester.

* * *

“I brought you crackers and juice.” Castiel placed them on the bed next to an again sleeping Dean. Dean groaned in response. “Don’t make me open the blinds,” Castiel threatened him. Dean looked up, glaring at Castiel.

“Fine, I’ll eat your damn crackers.” Dean picked up one of the crackers, barely taking a bite before heaving. Castiel was smart before he returned to his room by grabbing the trashcan out of the bathroom. He slid it over to Dean. Dean shook his head, determined to not throw up. He took the cracker and continued to nibble on it. Castiel handed him the juice. Dean slowly drank.

Castiel tried to not watch Dean, but he was interesting when he was like this. Dean’s hair was sticking up but only on one side of his head, the rest was pressed down. His shirt was wrinkled and a little bit of his stomach was exposed; his jeans were a little lower on his hips then they usually were showing the waist band of his boxers. And he kept rubbing at his eyes to try and wake himself up a little more. Castiel didn’t want to admit it, but Dean was pretty…adorable.

“Dean how much of last night do you really remember?” Castiel asked after Dean was done with his crackers and juice. Dean was still laying down, his face being pressed into the pillow. He rolled onto his back, laying his arm over his eyes, thinking.

“After I left your house I didn’t want to go home so I drove around. I parked at Edgewood Park and just kind of sat in my car, listening to music. I was in a weird mood, you know. I was happy about…well…you know, but then I was upset as well because…well…you know. So I just listened to my music. I was there for a few hours. Then I heard a knock on my window. Anna was standing outside, looking pissed off.”

Dean went on to explain that Anna asked him to turn the music down because she could hear it all the way from the swings. She didn't even say anything about his face. Dean told Castiel the look in her face was that of pure hatred. Castiel wanted to say that Anna didn't hate him, but he just couldn't promise that to Dean.

Dean did turn the music down, then asked Anna if he could talk with her. She refused and started walking away.

“Remember the first day of school?” Castiel nodded. Of course he remembered the first day of school. He still hated Dean on that day. He wondered what that Castiel would say to the Castiel that was sharing his bed with Dean now. “Picture that, but instead of you, Anna.”

But Dean wasn’t going to give up. After Castiel had told him to talk to Anna, he started thinking about it. He actually had something to say to her now. After following her for a few blocks—he admitted it was a little much—Anna finally agreed to get in the car. As soon as she was in the car, she told him the only way she would speak to him was if she were drunk. Dean suggested they go to Milton’s but Anna said she couldn’t stand that bar—surprising Castiel who didn’t know Anna had bars she liked and did not like. Seriously, how many bars in Lawrence were okay with underage drinking?— so Anna suggested that they go to the Roadhouse. Having the afternoon that Dean had, he really didn’t want that to be the place they went. But Anna insisted, saying she liked it there. Dean informed Castiel that Dean had been the one to introduce Anna to the Roadhouse. Castiel did not approve.

“So we get to the Roadhouse around eleven-thirty. Well Ellen closes the joint up early on Thursday’s because her and Bobby have like a date night or something, I don’t know. But Jo was still there cleaning up. I begged her to let us come in. I remember I apologized to Anna and she cursed me out. Then Jo finally got around to giving us our alcohol. Anna continued to curse me out. I don’t remember much after that. Obviously you came and got us, but when was that?”

“Two,” Castiel said flatly. Dean gave a small, innocent laugh. _Someone’s feeling better_ Castiel thought dryly.

“Sorry about that. But I’m glad you’re the one that got me and not Bobby or Ellen. Jo thinks it’s funny watching them yell at me.”

“I didn’t want Sam to see you like that. You were very obnoxious last night.” Dean clamed up with that. He wasn't even thinking about Sam when he started drinking. He was being selfish.

“Did I say anything?" He asked, changing the subject.  "I tend to talk a lot when I’m drunk.” Castiel thought about it. There was a lump in his throat and a voice in the back of his head telling him to be honest with Dean. He swallowed the lump and shook his head with a very small smile.

“You, uh, you called me _Baby_.” Jo would have to be the one to tell him that she knew. Dean sat up, a sly smile on his face.

“Did I? Well, what did you do after that?” Castiel couldn’t control the blush that crept up on his face.

“Well I didn’t get back to sleep, that’s for sure.” Castiel was new to _flirting_ , but the look on Dean’s face made him believe he was doing something right. Dean moved over on the bed, inviting Castiel to sit with him. Dean rested his still pounding head on Castiel’s shoulder. Their fingers laced together almost automatically.

“I am sorry about last night,” Dean whispered.

“It’s alright. Let’s just try to not make it a habit, okay?” Dean nodded his head, tickling Castiel’s arm with his hair. He kept forgetting to put a shirt on.

“Alright, Baby,” Dean said. Castiel could _hear_ the smile in his voice.  

 


	13. Chapter 13

After Castiel had come back, he and Dean decided that they couldn’t do anything that caused too much noise. Castiel suggested they could watch a movie on his laptop. With earphones. Dean agreed, if only he could pick the movie. He looked through the movies Castiel had, picking up _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_.

“You actually like this movie?” Dean was surprised to see a comedy on Castiel’s shelf. 

"Yes. Is something wrong with that?" Castiel set aside his laptop, studying the way Dean was looking from the movie to him.

"No. It's just, I don't know. I didn't have you pegged as a comedy kind of guy." Castiel got up from the bed and moved over to Dean. 

“I’m allowed to like funny movies, aren’t I?” He took the movie out of Dean’s hand.

“I just thought you’d be more into… yep,” Dean pulled out World War II in Color, “this.” Castiel took the DVD out of his hand and placed it back where it belonged. He scowled at Dean who only gave his infamous smirk. Dean pulled Castiel closer to him, attempting to kiss him, but Castiel turned his head, forcing Dean to kiss his cheek instead. Dean laughed at the flustered Castiel.

“Are we going to watch this movie or not?” Castiel asked, pulling away from Dean, holding up _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_. Dean sighed and went back over to Castiel’s bed, settling down. Castiel moved in next to him, setting up the laptop and the DVD.

The boys got about fifteen minutes into the movie before they stopped paying attention to the screen and more attention to each other.

A knock on the door took the two boys out of the world they had created in the comforts of Castiel’s bed. Dean’s lips left Castiel’s, both of their heads whipping to the side, looking at the door.

“Castiel?” Anna was standing outside the door, holding a bowl of popcorn and a copy of _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ , a movie that both of them loved. If only Castiel was the only person in the room. “Castiel, I have _Goblet of Fire_! Come on, please! I really just want to have a good day, please?”

“Hide under the bed,” Castiel demanded Dean as Dean struggled to put his shirt back on. Dean stopped for a second to laugh at the clichéd hiding spot. Castiel hit Dean’s chest, but Dean followed instructions.

“Castiel! Just open the door.” Castiel crossed the room, took a breath, and opened the door. Anna held up the popcorn and the movie, barging into the room.

“Anna, I’m still really tired. Can we watch a movie later?” Anna dropped the smile. She was finally ready to stop being the raging bitch she had been and Castiel wasn’t willing to accept it. All she wanted was to spend time with her only brother she actually liked and he was kicking her out.

“Oh, alright. Yeah, I’ll just be downstairs. Um, you can come join me whenever you want.” Anna turned to leave, then something caught her eye. Thrown on the desk’s chair a leather jacket, one used to being tossed across rooms, waited for its owner to reclaim it. Anna knew that jacket. Castiel followed Anna’s eyes. He froze.

“Is this your jacket, Castiel?” Anna asked, knowing her brother’s talents never included lying. She knew the answer of course, but she wanted to see what Castiel would say. Castiel’s mind started racing.

“Well no it’s not. It’s...” He couldn’t think of someone’s name. Not even make up a name. He really needed to get better at this lying game.  

“It’s Dean’s, Castiel. I know his jacket. He wore this thing even in July.” Anna hated this jacket even when they were going out. Dean wore it over everything. He wore it the day they met, their first and second and third and so on dates, he wore it to school, he wore it sneaking into Anna’s room late at night. The only thing Anna liked about the jacket was watching Dean take it off then throwing it across the room; which, to Anna, looked like had happened again. “Why do you have his jacket?” The next thing to come out of Castiel’s mouth was something he never knew he could do.

“When I picked you up last night Dean had already left. He left his jacket so Jo asked me to take it to him because we’re partners in Dick’s class, so I did.” Anna pursed her lips, mulling it over. It sounded like something that could happen and Castiel was a terrible liar. She didn’t have the energy to pick the story apart either. Castiel subconsciously held his breath, waiting for her to either call him out on his bullshit or to accept it.

“Whatever.” Castiel let his breath go. She turned on her heels, walking back out the room. “ _Goblet of Fire_ and I have a date.” Castiel followed her to the door, closing it behind her. Castiel went to his bed, falling onto it. That was awful for so many reason. Castiel and the rest of the world had thought he couldn’t lie. But when it came to protecting his secret he shared with  Dean it was like second nature. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but he could tell it wasn’t a good feeling. His stomach turned in knots.

“Hey!” Dean hissed, popping his head out from under the bed. Castiel almost let out a yelp, forgetting, somehow, that Dean was still there, but he held it in. Dean made his way back into the bed. This time Castiel curled into his side. Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel. Castiel buried his face into the soft fabric of Dean’s shirt, which was inside-out.

“I can’t keep lying to her, Dean,” Castiel spoke in a muffled voice as he did not pull his face away from Dean’s shirt. Dean ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair, actually managing to soothe him. Castiel leaned into the touch. It amazed Castiel that now Dean’s touch was the only thing that could calm him down when a few weeks ago the thought of Dean touching him would have meant a possible black eye. So much had changed since the first day of Castiel’s senior year. Some of it for the better he thought as he looked up at Dean who was giving him a reassuring smile. Some of it for the worse as he couldn’t shake the guilt of lying to his sister.  

“I know, Baby. I know.” There it was again, the pet name. But it wasn’t said drunkenly or tauntingly, it was sincere. And Castiel didn’t mind it, in fact, he was actually starting to like not hearing ‘Castiel this’ and ‘Castiel that’. A new name (or names) may have been exactly what he needed.

* * *

Dean stayed a little longer, but eventually both Castiel and Dean decided that Dean would have to sneak out of the house before Michael or Gabriel came home or before Anna came back into the room. Dean said he would just use the lattice that ran under Anna’s window. Castiel asked Dean how he knew that if he had never been to the house before. Dean didn’t respond. Castiel somehow actually understood what that meant. He didn’t press it any further. Castiel asked him where he was going to go; when Dean responded with the Roadhouse Castiel almost refused to let him go. Dean reassured Castiel that he wasn’t going there to drink or do anything stupid, he just wanted to talk to Ellen. Hesitantly, Castiel let him go.

 Castiel kissed Dean goodbye before Castiel went downstairs to make sure Anna was still watching the movie.

“Hey, Castiel,” Anna said, curled up on the couch with a blanket and the popcorn. Castiel walked over to the couch and hesitated before Anna pulled him down next to her.

“What part are we at?” Castiel asked trying to forget who was scaling the side of their house . He had made Dean promise to text him when he made it to the Roadhouse. Anna filled Castiel in even though he had seen the movie countless times. He listened as Anna described every detail, pausing the movie to make sure she got everything right.

They finished the popcorn before the movie, like always, but by the time the credits were rolling they couldn’t care less about the lack of popcorn. Anna got up to start another movie when Castiel got a text message. He was hopping it was Dean, but when he slid the unlock button Chuck’s name popped up.

_Where the hell are you? This is your second day missing calculus and that’s just not like you. Is everything alright?_ – Chuck

_Everything’s fine. I just didn’t get very much sleep last night and thought I needed to take a day to myself._ – Cas

_I’m sorry, but who are you and what have you done to my friend Castiel?_ – Chuck

_Nothing, Chuck. Now, please, I’m trying to have a relaxing day and I don’t need you up my ass_ – Cas

Castiel locked the phone and shoved it aside. He knew his friend was only trying to be that: a friend. But Dean should have texted him by now. The Roadhouse isn’t that far away from his house. He tried not to think about it. Instead, he got up to make another bowl of popcorn for the next movie, _The King’s Speech_.

“Castiel? Your phone is going off,” Anna called from the other room. “It’s Dean,” she said flatly. Castiel ran to the living room, snatching the phone from Anna. She tried, and failed, to not look so sour. For someone she didn't want in her life anymore, Dean sure was popping up more and more. 

“Hello?” He tried to sound calm in front of Anna but he was really freaking out. Dean said he was going to text him and he should have done it about an hour ago too. But instead he was late and he was calling. That just didn’t sit well with Castiel. Then he spoke and Castiel knew something was wrong. 

“Cas? Can you come get me?”


	14. Chapter 14

“Cas? Can you come get me?” His voice was shaking. Castiel never thought he would ever hear Dean sound like that. It made him a little uneasy. Anna stood in front of her bother, waiting for an explanation. Too many things to have to do with Dean Winchester were popping up because of her little brother and it didn’t sit right with her.

“Dean? Dean tell me where you are.” There was no time to ask what happened. It was the way Dean’s voice quavered, Castiel knew there was no time. Anna was about to roll her eyes or say something snarky but then she looked at her brother. He was panicked, scared. His eyes were full of terror. Something was wrong. His panicked ways were not something a fake business partner would have as a reaction.

“Castiel?” Anna spoke after Castiel hung up the phone. He was searching the room for a jacket. He had to go to the Roadhouse and he was still in pajamas. He couldn’t remember the last time he spent an entire day in pajamas. It would have been a great day. Too many 'would have been a great day' days were happening lately and Castiel wanted that to stop. “Castiel, what’s wrong?” He wasn’t listening. He had to find a jacket, maybe run upstairs to find a pair of pants. No, there wasn’t enough time. A jacket was fine. He had to find a damn jacket. Why was it so difficult? Anna grabbed Castiel’s shoulders, stopping him.

“I need to go.” He begged Anna not only with his words but with his eyes. There were tears. Suddenly it clicked. But the way Castiel was acting prevented Anna from being mad. Anna let him go, but told him to stay put for a second. She ran up to her room where she found a pair of keys that she had _borrowed_ from their neighbor. She prayed that today was not the day Ms. Wilson decided to go outside and get away from _Days of Our Lives._

When she came back down to the living room, Castiel had grabbed a jacket and was waiting at the door. He would have asked how Anna acquired the keys from Ms. Wilson, but he did not care at the moment. Anna jumped into the truck, followed by Castiel. Castiel instructed her to go to the Roadhouse. Anna didn’t understand, but she didn’t need to. All she needed to know was that her brother needed her.

Castiel practically fell out of the truck when they arrived. He ran into the bar, all eyes on the panting boy wearing pajamas and a trench coat. He walked straight to a woman he recognized from one of the photos in Deans room. Ellen gave a confused smile at the what appeared to be escaped mental ward patient.

“Where is Dean?” Castiel demanded. Ellen was now even more confused. Dean had only been at the Roadhouse maybe ten minutes before his friends showed up. Ellen told Castiel she suspected he was at home. That didn't make sense though. John was still at the apartment. Why would Dean willingly go back there? Simple: he wouldn't. Castiel shook his head and ran back outside.

“Dean!” He shouted, not caring about the looks he was receiving.

“Castiel! Over here!” Anna called to him. She didn’t sound too far off. Castiel followed the sound of her voice to an alleyway. She was on the ground, cradling Dean’s bleeding head. Dean was coughing, spitting blood out of his mouth. Castiel ran to them, practically falling when he reached them.

“Dean. Dean, it’s going to be alright. We’re going to get you help.” Castiel reached into his pocket of his coat and dialed 9-1-1. While they waited, Castiel laid Dean’s head in his lap, trying to soothe Dean. Dean was coughing, holding his stomach, groaning. Anna was standing guard.

The ambulance and the police showed up within ten minutes. They carried Dean away, allowing Castiel to join. Anna shouted to them that she would meet them there. Castiel was forced to ride in the front of the ambulance, but he didn’t mind, as long as Dean knew he was there.

At the hospital, the staff forced Castiel to wait in the waiting room. Anna got there moments after they arrived. She was there to hold Castiel’s hand. She had plenty of questions, but it wasn’t the time or the place to ask them. Castiel was too fidgety to just sit and let his hand be held. He paced the room, worrying about Dean and asking too many questions to himself. _Who had done it_? was the main question he held. _Why did they do it_? the second.

Bobby and Sam came rushing into the hospital forty-five minutes after Dean had arrived. Sam ran over to Castiel, hugging him. Castiel stood in shock at first, but allowed himself to embrace Sam as well. Sam looked up at Castiel, tears in his eyes. Castiel shook his head and held the boy closer to him. Bobby walked over to him and held out his hand.

“I’ll take it you’re Cas,” Bobby said in a voice that matched his face and the way Dean described him perfectly. Castiel nodded. Sam let Castiel go, returning to Bobby’s side.

“Do you know what happened to him?” Sam asked.

“No,” Castiel said in almost a whisper. He wished he did have answers but the doctors wouldn’t tell him anything. Castiel guided Bobby and Sam to where Anna was sitting.

They sat in the waiting room for another hour before anyone talked to any of them. They spoke to Bobby because he was Dean’s emergency contact. The fact that it didn't shock Castiel that John Winchester never arrived made the pit in Castiel's stomach grow. He pushed it back down. Bobby returned with the news.

Dean suffered from three cracked ribs, a ruptured spleen, multiple lacerations to the face, a broken leg, a dislocated shoulder, and a concussion. And Castiel had thought that Dean was on the way to recovering from his father’s beating. Now he had to heal from this one as well; this one would take much longer, too.

 Since they had to sedate Dean to remove the spleen, they did not get the chance to ask him how this happened. After he woke up, the police would have to question him. So they waited until Dean woke up. Anna offered to take Sam to the cafeteria, but Sam just wanted to stay with Castiel. Castiel didn’t really know how to react to that, but he too offered to take Sam to the cafeteria. On their way, Sam started to cry. Castiel, not usually one for comforting, put his arm around Sam and kept quiet, letting the boy cry.

When they returned, Anna told them that they could go see Dean. Castiel, even though he wanted nothing more to go see him, let Sam and Bobby go first. But as Sam entered the room, he grabbed Castiel’s arm and pulled him in. Dean was groggy, but he managed to smile when he saw Castiel. He had bandages all over his face, even his nose was taken care of. His arm was in a sling and his leg was in a cast.

“You look like hell, boy,” Bobby said. Dean tried to laugh, but with three cracked ribs laughing wasn’t going to be happening a lot in the near future.

“Sammy,” Dean saw his brother with tears in his eyes, “Sammy, I’m alright. Everything’s alright,” he tried to reassure Sam. It wasn’t an easy task. Not with how he looked. But protecting Sam was his only job and even broken and bruised, he wasn’t quitting his job.

“And don’t think I don’t see you lurking in the corner, Cas.” Castiel walked forward. All he wanted to do was hold his hand and kiss him, make the pain go away. But he couldn’t. Dean looked too fragile to touch.

“Hello Dean.” It was the only thing he could think to say. Dean smiled. So did Castiel. Bobby cleared his throat, bringing the boys out of their own world that laid in the look they gave each other.

“I’m glad you’re gonna be alright, but I got to go call Ellen, tell her you’re alright.” Bobby walked out of the room. Sam looked from Dean to Castiel then just walked out of the room, a smile on his face. Castiel made his way to Dean’s bed. He hesitated before he took Dean’s hand in his own.

“Who did this?” Castiel asked. Dean closed his eyes. The attack replayed in his mind. Dean had been prepared for it, or so he had thought. Nothing really would have prepared him for that. The look in his face was hateful and it confused Dean to no end. Years they had been friends. Years. 

“Crowley,” Dean croaked out. Castiel pulled his hand back. Crowley? He was supposed to be Dean’s best friend. Why would he beat him to near death?

“But, why?” Dean tried to take a deep breath, but his chest was on fire. The drugs they gave him were working, but not enough.

“She didn’t mean to, Cas. You got to know that. She was the one who warned me. And I’m not mad at her, so you can’t be either.” It didn’t click right away.

“Jo,” he sighed. Dean reached for Castiel’s hand again.

“She said she didn’t mean to say anything, it just slipped.” Castiel didn’t understand that. How does one just let something like that slip? Castiel couldn’t picture a conversation that ‘ _Oh yeah, by the way, Dean is in love with Castiel Novak. Who knew?_ ’ came out. It just wasn’t something that just happened.

“I don’t understand how it just _slipped_ , Dean,” Castiel hissed. Dean, with a weak and shaking arm, pulled Castiel’s hand up to his mouth, kissing it.

“Please don’t blame her. I don’t. Blame Crowley. He’s the one who’s the dick. Plus, she gave me a warning about Crowley's plan to come after me.” Dean had chosen to forgive Jo because they were too close for him to hold a grudge. And she did seem genuinely sorry. And she did warn him. And he couldn't picture a life where Jo wasn’t in it. Castiel didn’t like it, but if Dean could forgive her, Castiel could too. Or at least try to. 

“Fine,” Castiel sighed.

"Hot outfit," Dean tried to laugh. He really needed to learn that he wasn't going to be able to do that, but he liked to laugh. It was going to be difficult. Castiel looked down at his trench coat and plaid pajama pants. It was something to look at. He smiled at Dean, keeping Dean's hand clasped in his.

"I try my best," Castiel said with a small shrug and an even smaller smile. The boys sat in silence until the police showed up to question Dean, forcing Castiel to leave. Castiel gave Dean a quick kiss on the lips, in front of the police, then ducked out of the room. He walked down the hall letting go the breath he had been holding. Dean was beaten and broken, but he was fine. He was going to be fine.

* * *

Castiel held the door open for the boy on crutches. Dean grumbled the entire time. He felt useless, plus the crutches dug into his armpits. People’s eye followed him as he hobbled into the classroom. That might have been the thing he hated the most. The looks. The pity and looks of people who thought they knew his story, they made him want to kill someone. Sadly, he was limited by the crutches and the mending ribs and his boyfriend would never allow it.

The two months that followed the accident were the two longest months either of boys had ever endured. For Dean it was all about recovering, Cas had made sure of that. For Castiel it was about helping Dean in any way he could; even when Dean wasn't aware that he needed help. The two weeks Dean had to spend in the hospital, Cas was there every chance he got. He befriended the nurses he was there so often. Castiel would go to Dean's room with Dean's classwork and the boys would work on it together. They talked about everything anyone could imagine and never did they get bored with each other. 

Pain wise, those two weeks were some of the worse, but when thought back upon, those two weeks were the best.  

Crowley was arrested but Dean dropped the charges, against Castiel’s and Bobby’s and Sam’s and Ellen and Jo’s pleas. Dean was fucked up enough, he did not need a court date with a pissed off Crowley. Instead of jail time, Crowley got expelled from school and was sent to an alternative boy’s school in a different city. Castiel thought he was getting off easy, too easy, but Dean seemed happy with the punishment. As long as when he got out of the hospital Crowley wasn't going to be waiting for him, he didn't care.    

Dean got to his desk, complaining about how the desks were too close together. Cas informed him that the desks were always that close together. Their classmates watched on. Dean felt like a caged animal at the zoo. People seemed to feel sorry about him, but all they ever did was stare at him. Cas made him look at him, trying to calm him down. It worked. 


	15. Chapter 15

During his stay at the hospital Dean found himself actually happy. He didn’t have to lie to anyone or please anyone or impress anyone. He was only there for the sole purpose of getting better. The only thing he didn’t really like was how solitude it could be. With Bobby and Ellen at work and Sam and Castiel in school, the only people he could talk to were the nurses and they did have other patients.

Bobby would visit him during his breaks and when Ellen came by she always snuck in a burger and some fries. Sam would come in after school and tell Dean about his day. Sam accidently mentioned Ruby again, giving Dean the perfect opportunity to torture his little brother. But Sam actually didn’t mind it. He liked it when his brother wasn’t being an asshole and if that meant Dean picking on him for having a crush, so be it.

Castiel would come in after Sam left. He would sit in the chair next to the bed and discus the homework Dean was missing. He took it upon himself to go to Dean’s teachers and receive Dean’s work. Dean couldn’t believe that Cas would do that. But then again…yeah he could. Castiel would offer to help him with the work, but ten minutes into homework, Dean would get bored and ask Castiel about his day.

Cas hated talking about his day to Dean. Castiel’s days weren’t something that someone voluntarily wants to listen to. Nor are they something Castiel would voluntarily want to share with someone. But he could see the look in Dean’s eyes. He knew that Dean was bored out of his mind. So he obliged. He went into detail about Dick’s class mostly and how Dick didn’t care if Dean was in the hospital, if the work wasn’t done it wasn’t done. Although neither of the boys were worried about the project.

One time, Dean did ask about Anna. He vaguely remembered her finding him and that could only mean that she was there to witness Castiel’s reactions. Dean knew about Cas’s reactions because Castiel had embarrassingly told Dean about them—Dean thought it was cute. Castiel shifted in his seat at the mention of Anna’s name. Since that night, they hadn’t really talked. Michael and Gabriel had picked up on the tension, but neither of them dared talk about it.

“Well, she knows about us…whatever us is.” They were still iffy on the details, but it was becoming clearer and clearer each day. Dean asked what that meant, wanting to know exactly what Anna knew.

“She saw me cry when we found you. She saw how panicked I was when I got the call and when I waited to see you. We haven’t spoken about it, but I know she knows.” It was the only way he could describe the situation. Anna was avidly avoiding him. She would miss homeroom every day just so she could skip walking to school with him; she didn’t eat breakfast or dinner with the family anymore; and whenever she was home, she was in her room with the door shut. Castiel didn’t make an effort either, but the way she blatantly avoided him, he hated it.

Dean could see it in Cas’s eyes how much it pained him to be strained from his sister. He reached out for Castiel’s hand. Cas moved the chair as close as he could. All he wanted to do was lay in the bed with Dean, but he knew he couldn’t. So they held hands and it helped.

* * *

Dean was busy watching shitty day time television when a knock on the door interrupted his soap. It was 12:30 on a Friday, all of his usual visitors were elsewhere. The door opened and in walked John. Dean almost started screaming for security, but he saw something in his father’s eye…they were begging him.

“Hello son.” Dean didn't look at his father, kept his sight fixated on the television, not responding. John cleared his throat waiting to be invited into the room or to maybe sit in the chair. When that didn’t come, he just walked farther into the room, shutting the door behind him. Dean still didn’t speak.

“I would have come sooner…” He didn’t give an explanation as to why he hadn’t. Dean knew the reason though: he had literally been drunk for a week straight and Bobby wouldn’t allow him to visit. Still Dean did not speak. At this point he was wondering if maybe turning on the television would get John to leave.

John walked closer to the bed. Dean wished he could jump up and punch his father in the face, or at least shove him out of the room. John was silent for a while, collecting his thoughts. He had things to say, he just didn’t know how to say them.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, for a lot longer than usual.” That peaked Dean’s interest.

“What for?” He finally spoke. John hadn’t realized how deep Dean’s voice was. When did Dean even start growing up? Had he really missed out on that much of his children’s lives? He supposed he had, which made his reason for leaving that much harder for him to swallow.

“It’s come to my attention that I’ve been a pretty shitty father.” Dean couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny or not. Either way, the stony expression Dean held stayed cold. “I’m going to get some help. A buddy of mine from the rig told me about a rehab place. It’s supposed to be one of the bests in the state. It’ll help me with all my issues, which I know I have now. Someone pointed them out to me the other day and I can’t believe it took me that long to see them. Dean, I am so sorry for everything I put you through.” Dean finally looked at his father. He did look different. He didn’t have glazed over eyes or a look of bloodlust. He looked beaten, almost as bad as Dean was.

“Bobby’s been trying to get you to go to rehab for years, Dad. What was different this time?” John looked away from his son. Dean had been doing great in his recovery, but it had only been a week and he honestly still did look like hell. His bruises were turning colors and his scars were still fresh, he was a mess. In the light that wasn’t distorted by booze, John did not like what he saw, because he knew some of those bruises were from him. He knew that now. It hit him like a bus.

He looked back at Dean, the faintest trace of a smile on his face. “It wasn’t Bobby.” Dean was confused. He was about to ask his father who he meant when John’s phone started to ring. He looked at it apologetically. But before he left, he turned to look at his broken son. “You have a really good friend on your side, Dean. Keep him close.” With that he was gone, gabbing into the phone. Dean was still confused.

It took him a lot longer to figure out what his father had meant than it should have.

When Castiel’s head popped into the room, his smiled brightened it instantly. Dean struggled to sit up in the bed, but his ribs were so sore any movement made him want to scream out in agony. Castiel sat in his seat and pulled out Dean’s homework. He tried so hard to get Dean to at least attempt it, but Dean complained about how boring his day was by himself and how doing homework while he had someone to talk to was not the way he wanted to spend his time. So Cas gave in and the boys talked.

“Cas?” There was something in Dean’s voice. It wasn’t worry but it wasn’t just a question either. Castiel looked at him with a slight knit in his brow.

“Yes Dean?”

“Did you speak with my father?” Castiel’s stomach dropped. He had hoped that Dean wouldn’t find out about that. It wasn’t his proudest moment, talking to John Winchester. He was getting better at lying, he thought about getting out of the question, but he didn’t want to lie to Dean.

“Yes and I’m sorry if I overstepped my boundaries but it had to be done and I understand if you’re mad but I only had you and Sam’s best interest in mind and—” he spoke rapidly and out of breath. Dean begged him to stop babbling. Castiel stopped rambling and took a breath.

“Thank you.” Castiel did not expect that reaction. He had expected Dean to be upset with him. He had talked to his father, the one person Dean tried to keep hidden to the world, including his own brother.

“I…you’re welcome?” Castiel’s voice went up in suspicion. Dean smiled at the confused boy.

“What exactly did you say to him?” That had been bothering Dean since he figured it out. He couldn’t picture Castiel saying anything that would literally scare John into putting the bottle down. Cas looked away from Dean, the tiniest smile on his lips, remembering the conversation.

* * *

When Castiel found out that John had yet to visit his son in the hospital after five days, Cas decided it was enough. Castiel skipped out on lunch, and walked to Dean’s apartment. When he got there he pounded on the door. No one answered, but he could hear something shatter and a garbled curse from the other side of the door. He pounded even harder. It took five straight minutes of hitting the door for John to stumble to the door. The door flew open revealing an obviously drunk John Winchester. The older man snarled when he saw Castiel. He had a faint memory of the boy and he knew it wasn’t a good memory of him. Castiel pushed past him, fearless.

“What the hell?” John slurred. Castiel went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, and filled it with water. John stumbled over to the intruder. Castiel turned around, throwing the water on John. John shouted in anger.

“Mr. Winchester, are you aware that your son is in the hospital?” Castiel asked calmly.

“Get the fuck out of my home!” John was furious. He didn’t know this boy. This kid who just waltzed into his apartment to just throw water in his face and ask ridiculous questions, who the hell did he think he was? Castiel could tell just how irritated Mr. Winchester was getting, but he kept his cool. He filled the glass back up. He threw it on John again, receiving another bout of shouting.

“Are you aware that Dean is in the hospital, Mr. Winchester?” Castiel asked again, still keeping his calm.

John wiped the water from his face. He blinked a few times. This boy’s question sounded like he was bringing it through mud. John blinked a few more times. Castiel filled the glass up and threw it once more, asking the same question. John finally started hearing it.

“Uh, well…” Another glass of water to the face. Each cup to the face was followed by the same question in the same calm matter. Castiel figured that fighting fire with fire wasn’t going to be his best approach in the fight, so fighting fire with water was his next best option. With each cup of water to the face and same calming question he helped bring John closer and closer to the real world, not the hazy world provided by an amber liquid.

“Are you aware that your son is in the hospital? Answer the question Mr. Winchester.” John was soaked to the bone by now. Castiel had yet raise his voice.

“Yes!” John shouted. Bobby had called him the night it happened. He was passed out when he got the call and he hadn’t checked his phone until two days later, but he did know about it. “Yes! I knew.”

“That’s funny, because he’s been there for five days and you have yet to visit him.” John didn’t reply. Castiel didn’t need him to. He knew why he didn’t go. Apparently a good numbing buzz was more important than making sure his son was okay.

“Mr. Winchester I know that you and Dean don’t particularly get along, but he is your son. You are his father. A father is someone a son should be able to look up to. Look at you! You are not someone anyone would be able to look up to. If Dean weren’t so goddamned tough, he’d be scared of you. But he’s only that way because you literally forced him to be. Do even think about your sons? Because remember that you have Sam as well. Have you ever been there for them? Or are you really that selfish?” John didn't have a response. He just looked at this boy. “You have until Friday, that gives you two days, to get yourself cleaned up and go see your son. I’ll come back if I find out that you didn’t. Next time I’ll boil the water.” Castiel threw one last glass of water at John. Then Castiel left. He left a drenched, confused, guilty, father to his thoughts.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that some of you want to know what happened during the two months Dean was recovering, so I'll be going back and forth. Hopefully it doesn't confuse the shit out of you. If it does, let me know!


	16. Chapter 16

During his time at the hospital Dean had managed to make a few friends. There was Frank from room 310 who was there for dialysis but never seemed to mind going to Dean’s room to play checkers; a rather odd orderly who was usually the one to bring Dean his meals and would sometimes sneak Dean a candy bar from the gift shop, his name was Garth; and then there was Charlie, a young girl who was battling oligodendroglioma, a type of brain tumor.

Dean met Charlie when she was running away from someone and she happened to hide in Dean’s room. Dean was sitting in his bed, flipping back and forth from General Hospital and Spongebob. Charlie slipped into the room, not knowing it was being occupied. When she turned around, Dean was staring at her, trying to figure out what was going on. Dean went to say something, but the girl put her finger to her lips as she waited for someone to walk past the door. A shadow passed the door and she let go of her breath.

“Who the hell are you?” Dean asked. The redhead made her way over to Dean’s bed, holding out a hand.

“Charlie Bradbury. And you?” Dean took her hand, not sure whether to like this girl or call for an orderly to come and remove her. But her smile made Dean just reply with his name.

“So? Whatya in for?” Charlie asked. Dean looked down at his broken leg that had a gaudy white cast on it, his arm that was still in its sling, and while he didn’t have a mirror, he knew that his face still looked like he had been through hell. Charlie knew exactly what he was thinking and rolled her eyes. “I mean how’d this happen?”

“I got beat up.” Dean hated saying that. It sounded like a child complaining about a school bully. But it was the easiest way to describe it.

“By what? A bus?” Charlie laughed at her own joke. 

“Actually my best friend,” Dean bitterly said. Crowley was his best friend, or so Dean had thought. When Jo had warned Dean about Crowley, Dean hadn’t believed her.

“Some best friend.” Charlie, taking interest in his story, sat in Castiel’s seat. “What happened?” Dean didn’t know her, he wasn’t about to tell her his story. If it was something simpler he would have; but it wasn’t simple at all. Nothing about his life nowadays seemed simple. When did that happen?

“Turns out he’s a giant dick.” Charlie smirked at the response.

“Cute. Fine don’t tell me why this happened. You probably deserved it anyway.” She tried to provoke Dean but she didn’t know that Dean felt deep down he did deserve it. He didn’t think he deserved it for the reason he received it, but he did deserve to have the life almost beat out of him. When he left Castiel’s house he couldn’t help but replay the guilt he could hear in Cas’s voice when he talked about Anna and Dean felt responsible for that.

“Maybe I did,” Dean finally responded. Charlie was not expecting that. She looked at Dean, he looked like absolute hell, how could someone possibly deserve that?

“No, I don’t think you did," she sounded sincere. "But it’s cool, you don’t have to tell me. I was just being nosey.”

“Well, what are you here for?” Charlie knocked on her head, smiling.

“My head’s programing got screwed up and I ended up with a tumor. The coding must have glitched or something.” Dean looked at her even more confused than he was when she broke into his room. Charlie laughed. “I’ve got  oligodendroglioma. It’s a type of brain tumor.” Dean was at a loss of words. How does one respond to something like that? Saying sorry didn’t seem right with the way Charlie was acting.

“Oh,” was all Dean could come up with. Charlie just continued to smile.

“Yeah, at first I was like ‘man, this blows’ but now I’m like ‘I get out of school and play video games all I want, that’s pretty darn sweet’. I mean the radiation is totally lame but it gives me hope that maybe I’ll develop some sort of awesome superpower.” This girl was not what Dean was used to. The girls Dean talked to were interested in one thing, and video games was not it. He decided that he liked this Charlie Bradbury. She was battling a brain tumor and she was making jokes. Dean was stuck in a cast for a few weeks and he had seemed to have lost himself completely. She was someone that Dean could see himself befriending.

“What kind of power do you want to develop?” He asked her, knowing that getting to know Charlie was something he should do. Charlie thought about it. It most certainly was something she thought about often and yet she could never come up with an answer. She shrugged her shoulders at Dean.

“That’s my dilemma. I want something cool, you know? But not too cliché like super speed or strength, even though those two things would be pretty badass if you think about it. Plus, there are so many powers to even begin to narrow it down. So right now I’m undecided.” Dean agreed, hoping she wouldn’t ask him the question. He didn’t know that much about superpowers or superheroes and he didn’t want to make a fool of himself.

Charlie looked around the room. Dean had been there for a week already and already he had multiple pictures taped above his head. He had Sam bring him his pictures from his room; he couldn’t sleep without having them in his room.

“That your family?” Charlie pointed to the picture of Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Sam, and him. Dean thought about answering with the truth, but then he thought about it and saying _yes_ would be the truth as well.

“Yeah, it is.” The picture of his mother and father was sitting on the bedside table, propped up against the lamp. Charlie didn’t notice it. Dean was glad. Charlie got up and took a closer to the pictures, leaning over Dean. She was about to ask him more questions about his family, but Dean wasn’t really in the mood to discuss his family.

“What are you doing in here, Charlie?” Charlie looked around the room even though it was only the two of them.

“My girlfriend showed up but we’re in a fight right now. I told her I had to get some water and I ran.” She didn’t even bat an eye when talking about her girlfriend. He envied her for her confidence. Dean wished he could do that with Cas. They were still ways away from being that comfortable with…whatever it was they were doing. Dean remained silent. 

“Does it make you uncomfortable that I have a girlfriend?” Charlie asked, sounding a little on edge about it. Dean didn’t know what he face was saying right then. He didn’t think he looked uncomfortable. He was uncomfortable, not because of that, because he had an itch on his leg but he couldn’t get to it with the cast.

“No, not at all. I actually have a…Cas.” He faltered. He couldn’t say boyfriend, no matter how much he wanted to. Cas wasn’t ready for that. Hell, he wasn’t even ready for that. Didn’t make it any better though. Charlie, like Dean had expected, was confused.

“What the hell is a Cas?”

“He’s my…my business partner in a class.” Charlie looked at Dean and smirked.

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” She smiled broadly at him letting him know she was just teasing him. Dean smiled back at her, his eyes thanking her for not pressing it.

Charlie stayed for about an hour after that. They talked about Charlie’s favorite games. Well, Charlie talked, Dean mostly listened. Dean never got into video games, he stuck with sports. Charlie went on and on about the different games that she was involved with, depicting her favorite characters and plots. That flowed nicely to a conversation about Charlie’s favorite books. Dean wasn’t a big reader, he stuck to sports.

For the rest of the days Dean was in the hospital, Charlie visited him for a couple of hours. She brought her laptop a few times and showed him how to play some of her games. She also brought him a few books that he promised to read, but they both knew that that wasn’t going to happen. 


	17. Chapter 17

While Dean was in the hospital Castiel was a mess on the inside but he managed to keep himself together for those around him. Anna didn’t talk to him, but she did give him shaded looks that sent Castiel’s stomach into a round of summersaults. He wanted to talk to her but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t. Not yet. He had no one to talk to about it. He felt even more alone than he had ever felt.

Chuck and Becky tried to help, but they didn’t know what was wrong to begin with. Castiel couldn’t very well tell them so his go to lie (which was almost second nature now) was ‘I’m just stressed’. It made him feel a little better that it wasn’t a complete lie. He found lies that contained some extent of the truth were easier to get out. Becky just shrugged it off, but Chuck could tell there was something deeper to the stress. Still Castiel remained silent. Everybody knew what had happened to Dean, but no one knew who found Dean or who went to the hospital every day to just spend time with the broken boy.

One afternoon instead of going to lunch, Castiel went to the library. He wandered down the aisles of books, running his hand over each spine. He wasn’t there to look for a new book to read, he just wanted to be by himself. That would have happened if Jo Harvelle hadn’t walked in. She had wanted to talk to Castiel since the night Dean went to the hospital. It just never seemed like a good time to.

“Cas?” she said in a hushed voice. Castiel’s heart sank hearing Dean’s name for him come out of someone else’s mouth. He turned around. His face dropped as well. Jo tried to give a weak smile but faltered. Castiel scowled then turned back around. Jo went to touch his arm but retracted. She didn’t need to piss him off she needed to talk to him. She had to explain herself. “Cas, please?” Castiel turned around, glaring at her.

“Don’t call me that. Okay? I’ll talk to you, just don’t…don’t call me that.” He didn’t know why he was going to talk to her. Maybe it was because Dean had chosen to forgive her. Or maybe he was just begging for any other person to talk to at that point. Jo nodded her head, a little frightened by this Castiel. He was supposed to be a timid boy who was an easy target. Now Dean was the easy target and Castiel was the one to fear.

“Sorry, Castiel. I just wanted to explain myself, about, well, you know.” Jo had a hard time thinking about it. That night was only a week ago but it felt like years away and, at the same time, only minutes ago. Castiel walked over to one of the couches that the library had. Jo followed him but didn’t sit next to him; she chose wisely by sitting on the coffee table set in front of the couch.

“You have fifteen minutes.” Lunch still had forty minutes but Castiel didn’t know if he could stand listening to her for more than fifteen minutes. And that was being generous.

Jo didn’t know where to start. She had thought about talking to Castiel for a week now and now that she had the opportunity she was frozen. Castiel did not look amused. He wanted to leave. Jo wanted to leave at this point too. Castiel sighed at the obvious waste of time and pushed himself up to leave. Jo’s stomach tightened. She knew she would never have another chance to get to talk to him. She thought quickly. She grabbed his arm, keeping him from walking away.

“I am so sorry for what happened. I never wanted it to. I didn’t mean for it to. I would never do anything to hurt Dean.” She rushed every one of her words, making it sound like one continuous sentence. Castiel knew she was nervous, but that didn’t matter to him.

“Except tell a secret that he said to you while he was shitfaced. What he said? No one was supposed to know about it. How in the world did you accidently tell that to Crowley?” Castiel hissed. He did not sit back down. Both of them were standing. Castiel loomed over Jo, peering down at her. Jo never thought that the boy she watched get his ass kicked every day for almost ten years would ever make her feel so small.

Slowly, Jo replayed the entire day.

* * *

Dean wasn’t at school, not that Jo had expected him to show up. He really took a liking to the tequila last night. And what the alcohol told her…it was still playing in the back of her mind. But she got through the entire day without saying anything to anyone.

It was Friday and Jo couldn’t have been happier. Friday was the only day of the week Jo had off from the bar. She got to hang out with her friends, the perfect distraction from her thoughts. Meg and Bela came over to her house to get ready. They were talking about the dance that was coming up. Bela asked Jo if she thought Dean would maybe want to take her.

“I don’t think so, Bell, sorry.” Bela pouted in the mirror as she applied her lipstick. She turned back around after smacking her lips together.

“Why the hell not?” she demanded. “I mean you see the way he flirts with me, don’t you? It’s rather obvious that he likes me.” Meg snorted at the bratty Brit. Meg was on the bed reading a magazine, idly flipping through the pages not really paying attention to the glossy models. She looked up at Jo to see her response. Jo was walking on eggshells.

“Bela, honestly, Dean flirts with everyone. It’s kind of just how he communicates with people.” Bela jumped up from the vanity.

“Well I think you’re blind. He’s totally into me. Maybe I should ask him to the dance.” Jo didn’t want to have to watch Dean go to the dance with someone he obviously didn’t like. He deserved to be happy for once.

“Bela, don’t do it. Seriously, he doesn’t like you.” Bela took a step towards Jo, her eyes turning into slits.

“And what makes you so sure.” Jo laughed it off, but she knew how deadly Bela could be. She had once witnessed Bela practically scalp a girl for a pair of boots that were on sale.

“Just trust me.” Meg got up, stepping in between the two girls. She pushed Bela a little bit, making her back up from Jo.

“Will you please give it a rest. The boy doesn’t like you. He likes someone else obviously. The real question here,” Meg turned to Jo, a wicked smile on her lips, “who does Dean actually like?” Jo should have realized that Meg was not actually helping her. Meg never did anything that didn’t benefit her.

“No one I know,” Jo tried to play cool. She was usually an excellent liar, but her so called friends were malicious and could smell fear.  

“You’re a bloody awful liar. Tell us who Dean likes.” The two girls tried to go back and see if they could recall Dean paying special attention to anyone in the past few weeks. Had he dumped Anna for someone else? Was he already in a relationship with this girl? Meg and Bela had to know and they knew Jo was the only person, besides Dean himself, that could answer them.

“What makes you think I know?”

“Dean tells you everything.” Meg said, stating the truth. Even when Dean didn’t want to tell her, he told her anyway.

“Cassie Price.” It was the first name Jo could think of. She remembered Dean went out with Cassie during freshman year but it didn’t last long. Cassie and Dean were always fighting and then found behind the bleachers with a lot less clothes then they originally had on. Meg shook her head not believing it. Meg knew Dean. He went out with a girl for maybe a few weeks then he broke up with her and went after a new one. The fact that Anna and him had been going out for multiple months was a shock to everyone in the group, including Dean himself. Bela wouldn’t accept the answer.

“You’re lying again. Joanna Beth, I swear if it’s me he likes and you’re just not saying it because he told you not too…” Bela said, irking Jo. Jo hated her name. She also hated how self-centered Bela was. Her cheeks turned red. Her mind went blank. And before she knew what she was doing she snapped.

“He does not like you Bela! He doesn’t even like girls anymore for fucksakes!” Jo’s hand went to cover her mouth, maybe hold the words in a little longer, but they were out. Dean was out. Jo had just told Bela and Meg something Dean only told Jo because he was too drunk to stop himself. Meg almost choked on her own spit. Bela’s mouth fell about two feet. Jo shook her head whispering ‘No. No. Shit. No.’

“Excuse me?” Crowley was standing in the doorway now. _When had he gotten there?_ Jo thought to herself. But that honestly didn’t matter, because he was there to hear her. Probably the only person who should have never heard that…and he was standing in the fucking doorway.

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Jo tried to play it off, but no amount of playing dumb could get her out of that. Crowley stepped into the room, walking straight to Jo. Meg and Bela scurried to the other side of the room, not wanting to be in the middle of whatever conversation was about to go down.

“Did you just say that Dean was…gay?” Jo’s eyes searched the room as she tried to come up with a lie. But there really wasn’t any way that she could get out of this. She had just let slip the biggest secret Dean had ever told her and broken her promise to Castiel. Dean was never going to forgive her and Castiel was probably going to kill her.

“Technically I didn’t say those exact words. You can take my words and put them into that context, if you want.” Crowley’s jaw set, his teeth clenched so hard Jo though he might actually chip a tooth. Bela and Meg stood by, keeping their mouths shut.

“Jo,” Crowley’s face relaxed as he exhaled her name. “All I want to know is whether or not my best friend, who is supposed to be honest with me, is hiding a secret.”

“That’s really something you should ask Dean.” Crowley’s snake of a smile slithered onto his face. It made Jo extremely uncomfortable. Crowley patted Jo’s shoulder and leaned in close to her ear. His breath was hot against her skin.

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing.”


	18. Chapter 18

Crowley left her room. Jo was in shock. Bela and Meg stood frozen in place, mouths slightly agape. No one knew what to do or say, because would anyone know what to do in a situation like that? The girls slowly began to pull themselves back to reality. Meg pulled Bela out of the room, letting Jo know that they would just see her later. Jo was left sitting alone in her room to process what she had just done. After replaying the scene over and over again, Crowley’s voice kept digging at her mind. He sounded so menacing; Jo had an awful feeling about what Crowley was about to do. She got to her phone and punched in Dean’s number.

“Hey Jo.” Dean shouted a little. Jo could hear the hustle of the Roadhouse in the background. Maybe if he stayed there and Crowley found him her mom would be able to stop anything from happening. “Everything alright?” Dean asked when Jo didn’t say anything in return to his hello.

“Well, no. No, not really.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” Jo was like family to Dean and whenever she was in trouble, he came to her rescue. Jo only hoped that she could be Dean’s hero for once, even though she was the one to put him in danger in the first place.

“I didn’t mean to do it, Dean, I swear! It was an accident! I was just so mad because Bela just would not shut up about it and then…I was trying to save the both of you trouble. Or at least in my mind I was but it came out all wrong and then Crowley came in and he overheard it and…Dean I am so sorry!” She was rambling so fast Dean couldn’t get a word in to ask her what the hell she was talking about. None of what she just said made any sense to him. She obviously told their friends something she shouldn’t have said and it must have pertained to him or else she wouldn’t have called.

“Jo, what the fuck are you talking about?” She could hear him ask for a refill. She then heard her mother tell Dean to watch his mouth. Her mother was working tonight so at least Jo knew he wasn’t drunk. Ellen knew too much about John to let Dean drink alcohol; it something Jo should have taken much more seriously.

“Last night when you and Anna came in and got wasted, you told me something. Do you remember what you told me?” Dean only remembered the night in bits and pieces; talking to Jo was not one of those pieces or bits.

“No, sorry.”

“You told me a secret. Something you wouldn’t have told me sober.” Dean didn’t remember anything that he had told Jo. He barley remembered talking to Anna.

“Well, spit it out.” He didn’t like the way that Jo sounded. He also had forgotten to text Cas to let him know that he had made it to the bar so he was hoping that the call wouldn’t last too long so he could let Cas know where he was.

“You told me you were in love with Castiel Novak.” She spoke so fast that Dean was certain that he hadn’t heard her right.

“Repeat that,” he instructed her. She really didn’t want to. He had heard her perfectly. “Repeat it, Jo.”

“Last night, you told me that you thought you were in love with Castiel.”

“Well I was drunk,”  he said too defensively for it to count. He was flailing like a fish out of water. Jo could hear her mother ask him if he was alright. Dean waved off the question as he waited for Jo’s response.

“Then I spoke to Cas…” Dean cursed Castiel for not being able to play it cool. Then again, it was Dean’s fault that he said anything.

“Okay, so you know. Cas and I are, well we’re not anything technically, but we’re something, I think. Please don’t—” Dean was about to tell her not to say anything to anyone but then it clicked. Her franticness at the beginning of the call. Dean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You told Crowley, didn’t you?” Jo’s heart was being ripped out of her chest and stomped on. And it was no one’s fault but her own.

“Dean I am so fucking sorry and like I said I didn’t mean for it to happen it was just petty girl drama and I let it get the better of me and I know you must hate me and I understand but please just know that I am so fucking sorry. Also, Crowley is trying to find you and he sounded like he might want to hurt you.” Dean really wished he had some alcohol in his system at the moment, but Ellen would never allow that on her watch.

“Jo, it’s alright. Really. I can handle Crowley.” _Well speak of the devil_ , Dean thought to himself, because as soon as he said that, Crowley opened the door to the Roadhouse and started walking towards the bar where Dean was sitting.

“Yeah, but what about us?” Jo didn’t want to lose Dean, but she would understand if Dean wanted to lose her. She was probably the shittiest friend in the world. Who would want to keep her around?

“We’ll be just fine Jo. I got to go. Cas is trying to call me,” he lied not wanting to alarm her that Crowley had arrived. “I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” Dean was pissed, sure, but he knew that without Jo in his life, he’d be lost. Jo messed up—no, she fucked up— but Dean had been such a fuckup himself over the years and Jo helped him through it. One mistake would not justify Dean excommunicating her.

“Hello Dean,” Crowley said in an overly sweet manner. Even if Jo hadn’t called Dean, Dean would have known something was wrong with the way Crowley had just spoken. “Fancy a chat?” Dean motioned for Crowley to sit next to him but Crowley just started walking out of the bar. Dean put down a ten dollar bill and called out a goodbye to Ellen.

“Something wrong, Crowley?” Dean asked as Crowley walked to the side alley between the Roadhouse and the hardware store next to it. Crowley had his back turned toward Dean but he slowly turned around.

“I heard something about you today.” Crowley looked at Dean who was trying his best not to show he knew.

“All good I hope.” Dean smiled. Crowley scoffed. Crowley wasn’t stupid. He had heard Dean say Jo’s name before he hung up the phone. Jo had warned Dean, that was fair. But Dean toying with him was pissing him off even more.

“Tell me Dean, what is it that makes you think you can keep a secret from me?” Crowley’s voice was calm. Maybe that was what made him terrifying: his calm manner. Crowley was like a time bomb without a timer; you knew he was going to go off but he wouldn’t tell you when, he was calm up until he exploded. And picking up the pieces of Crowley’s blowouts was not something anyone wanted to be forced into doing.

“I don’t think I can keep a secret from you, Crowley.” Dean knew Crowley knew what Dean was doing, but he did it anyone. Maybe it was the death wish he had always had for himself. Crowley was getting less and less impatient.

“Look here you insolent twat,” Crowley grabbed Dean’s collar, pulling him close. Crowley’s breath was hot on Dean’s face. Dean knew what Crowley was capable of and he had a hunch as to what Crowley had in store for him, and yet Dean wasn’t scared at all. “I don’t do well with liars. And I know you’ve been trying to pull the wool over my eyes for some time now. That isn’t news I take well.” Crowley pushed Dean down onto the gravel. Dean’s elbow scrapped on the tiny stones. It stung, but Dean didn’t even notice it since as soon as he was on the ground Crowley’s foot was kicking into Dean’s side.

A lot of things went through Dean’s mind as Crowley’s weight was being put behind each kick into Dean’s stomach. Things like: _I should probably fight back_ and _Is he really doing this because I lied to him?_ and _I forgot to call Cas, he’s going to be pissed_ and _Oh shit, he just said something._  Then Anna’s face flashed into his mind then Castiel’s. Both of them looked so hurt and he knew they were both hurting because of him. So he let Crowley kick him and then pick him up by the collar and punch him and continue to punch him until all Dean could see was his own blood dripping into his eyes. He did it because of the pain he caused Anna and Cas. He did it because he deserved it. 


	19. Chapter 19

Castiel sat on the edge of Dean’s hospital bed. The boys were talking about school and what all Dean was missing. There wasn’t much: homecoming coming up in a few weeks, midterms, and just trying to finish up Dick’s project. Dean groaned at every single one.

 Dean remembered homecoming from last year: Lisa Braeden was his date, she almost left him when she saw that he had snuck in a flask; both of them ended up completely trashed by the end of the night. Dean remembered getting to the dance and then waking up naked next to Lisa in the back of his car. It was a pretty great memory for him. Castiel spent homecoming at Chuck’s house playing video games. Not such a great memory for him.

“So I talked to Jo today,” Castiel said quietly. He didn’t really want to talk about his talk with her, but he figured that it would get around to Dean eventually.

“Oh?” Dean’s eyebrow went up in question. He had thought Cas hated Jo. Whenever Dean would bring her up, Cas would roll his eyes or scoff or just start a new conversation altogether. “And what did you two talk about?”

“She explained everything to me.” Oh. Dean didn’t like the sound of that. Some things are better left unsaid.

“Everything, meaning?”

“How and why Crowley used you as a punching bag.” Although the exact details as to why Crowley did that were still a little bit fuzzy for Cas. From what he was understanding, Crowley nearly killed Dean because Dean had kept something from him, a secret. But surly that couldn’t be the only reason Crowley did it. Jo didn’t say anything else after her story though, so Cas could only speculate that that was the only reason.

“Really? And you let her?”

“She didn’t really give me much choice.” Cas was still a little bitter about the whole cornering thing, but he supposed that he was the one that allowed her to talk to him.

“So? Are you willing to forgive her?”

“Not fully. And I’m sorry that I can’t, but what she did was awful. I suppose since she does feel true remorse about it I should give her some slack. So I’m not saying she’s forgiven but she’s not hated…anymore.” Dean tightened his grip he had on Castiel, pulling him closer to his side. When he kissed his temple, Cas could feel the smile on Dean’s lips.

“Thank you,” Dean said, his mouth still on Cas’s temple. Cas leaned into the embrace. The more Dean’s lips touched any part of his skin, the more and more he liked it.

A quick knock on the door brought the boys back to the real world, away from the world they always seemed to slip into when they were together. Charlie came into the room without being invited. Cas hadn’t met Charlie yet so he was a little confused as to who the redhead in a Harry Potter t-shirt was. When Charlie saw someone else was in the room and that someone else was a brown haired, blue eyed boy, the biggest smile appeared on her face.

“Oh my God. Dean, is this Cas?” Cas didn’t like the way she said Dean’s nickname for him. Although, to be fair, Castiel didn’t like anyone but Dean calling him that. She walked over to the bed where Castiel was slowly getting up. He did not know who this girl was and it made him uncomfortable that she knew who he was.

“Charlie,” Dean said with a small laugh, “this is Cas. Cas, this is Charlie.” Dean had mentioned a Charlie before. She was a patient at the hospital; something to do with her brain, if Castiel remembered correctly. But this girl didn’t look ill at all.

Charlie ran over to Cas, who was standing up now, and hugged him. Castiel was in shock. Charlie did not care, she hugged the stranger who was really not a stranger to her at all.

“I have been wanting to meet you for about a hundred years and this jackass over here wouldn’t let me. Good thing I had my CT results come in today and had to miss my usual date with him. Oh I am so excited to meet you, Castiel. Tell me all about yourself!” Charlie had heard most about Cas, but she wanted it from the source. She wanted to see, for herself, why Dean was head over heels. Castiel sat back down on the bed, Dean moving over as much as possible. Charlie took the seat in the chair next to the bed and waited like a dog waits for a piece of steak at the dinner table.

“Um, well, I’m Castiel Novak and I go to Lawrence High School and well, I really don’t know what all you want me to say.” Cas was flustered. He didn’t like being put on the spot, nor did he very much enjoy talking to strangers. Charlie shook her head and smiled. The way Dean had described him, she was actually expecting something to this effect to happen.

“I told her you weren’t much of a talker,” Dean said to Cas. “She never listens, though,” he said mostly to Charlie. Charlie stuck her tongue out at Dean.

“It’s alright Castiel, we can talk some other time. I just came to say hello to Dean. I’ll leave you two alone.” Charlie got up and started to walk away.

“Not so fast, Miss Bradbury,” Dean called to her. Her CT results were today, as she had pointed out, and he needed to know that she was going to okay. Charlie was really hoping she would get out of telling Dean. She turned around, halfway out the door.

“What? Don’t you want to spend time with your…Cas?” Her eyebrow went up. Dean’s heart froze and his stomach dropped. Cas looked between the two. What had she meant by _that_?

“Charlie…tell me the results.” Charlie walked back over to her chair.

“Well it’s not good news,” she tried to laugh it off. But Dean knew she was scared. Hell, even Castiel could tell she was scared. Cas got up from the bed and told them he would be back, he wanted to get some ice water. Charlie got up from her seat and crawled into the bed next to Dean the best she could manage. Dean put her arm around her, giving her a kiss on the forehead, trying to reassure her. But only making her burst into tears. His grip around her tightened, letting her cry.

She wiped her eyes as she straightened up. She faced Dean, her eyebrow furrowed.

“Charlie?” Dean didn’t like the look on her face. “What are you thinking about?”

“You know what would make me feel better?”

“No. But I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.” All she gave him as a response was a wicked smile.

* * *

Cas came back to find Charlie had left. Good. Dean was sitting up in the bed, waiting for Cas to take his seat back. Castiel walked over to the bed, cautious. Dean didn’t look normal. Something was not the same as when he left. He looked nervous, making Castiel nervous.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Dean awkwardly laughed as he motioned for Cas to sit next to him. Cas sat on the bed, but did not lay next to Dean as he had before. Dean was both disappointed and glad that he hadn’t.

“Cas, can we talk?” That was never a good thing to say. Castiel didn’t say anything, he just nodded.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately, you know, since I don’t have much else to do…” Dean trailed off. He was getting cold feet. How on Earth had Charlie convinced him to do this? It’s not like he didn’t want to do it, but he was just so goddamned nervous. Which was weird because this was usually a conversation that he knew the outcome to. But not with Cas. Cas was never the same as anyone else.

“Dean? What are you trying to say?” Castiel didn’t want him to answer that. He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like it. He had had a rough day and the last thing he needed to hear was that he was being replaced with some girl in a Harry Potter shirt. He had seen the two of them laying in the bed together when he left. Dean had kissed Charlie’s forehead much the same as he kissed Cas’s. He didn’t stay long after that.

“Charlie and I, we talk a lot and she helped me realize something.” Castiel’s stomach knotted as his chest tightened. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready quite yet to let Dean go. Dean wasn’t his to let go, but in a way he was. And Cas wasn’t ready. But he could feel it. He slowly started to get up from the bed, knowing the next place for him to go was home. Dean didn’t know where Cas thought he was going. He pulled Castiel back to him, pleading: “Please, don’t leave right now. This is kind of important.” Castiel stopped moving, but did not face Dean. He couldn’t bear the look in his eyes when the words were out.

“Dean, please, not today. Today’s been a really shitty day for me.” Hearing Cas curse was something of a treasure to Dean. The words sounded foreign coming from him. Dean could tell Cas had to think of the right one to put into the sentence for it to make sense. It was pretty adorable.

“Seriously? Can’t you just look at me?” Cas heard the desperation in Dean’s voice and couldn’t not turn around. The green in Dean’s eyes was dulled by the hospital lights, but the look was indistinguishable: insecure. What was Dean insecure about at this point?

“What?” Cas was defeated. He had accepted it. He should have known that this, whatever this even was, wouldn’t last long. In all reality, he was surprised that it had lasted this long. Every day that Castiel came to see Dean, he was waiting for Dean to tell him to go home, that he didn’t need or want Cas anymore.

Dean was losing his patience. He had worked it out in his head but Cas was not playing the role that Dean’s script had read. He let out a heavy sigh, wanting to give up completely. But he promised Charlie a result.

“Goddamn man, what the fuck do you think I’m doing here?” He couldn’t help but lose his temper a little. Castiel looked down at his hands, which were sitting fidgety in his lap.

“Aren’t you…ending this?” He didn’t want to look Dean in the eye. But then he heard Dean laugh. He was laughing at him? The prick. Then Dean’s calloused finger was under Cas’s chin, lifting his face up to face him. Dean’s lips were on Castiel’s before Cas knew what was going on. When they separated, leaving Castiel confused more than ever, Dean continued to laugh.

“No, you idiot. I’m asking you to be my boyfriend.”  


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me this long to get this up.

Cas stared at Dean for a lot longer than Dean would have liked. But Cas didn’t hear him right and he was waiting for Dean to correct himself. Dean Winchester wouldn’t have just asked him to be his...boyfriend. They weren’t putting labels on this. And boyfriend was the biggest label someone can put on anything-- well maybe husband, but still. 

“Are you going to say something?” Dean asked, his voice cracking slightly. He was even more nervous now than he was asking. Waiting really was the worst part. He did figure that Cas would have to think about it, but for, like, a few seconds. But this, this was torture. Castiel’s expression was blank as he continued to just blink.

“Are you sure?” Was the first thing out of his mouth. Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. Was he sure? What the fuck did Cas think? That he was just playing a joke on him? Had Cas not been there for the past two weeks? All the times they were laying in bed, Cas’s arm around Dean for the first week because Dean didn’t like moving too much, then Dean took over when he could breath without crying out in pain; the times spent with gentle kisses and tender touches; all the conversations they had about life and their families-- Cas even started to talk about his father. Had Cas not paid attention to any other that? Then Dean looked at him, his insecurity was showing bright red on his face. Castiel honestly did think he was joking with him. Dean’s harsher expression softened, his tight lined lip curving in a soft smile.

“Yes, Castiel,” Dean said, taking Cas’s hand, “I am sure. So?” Cas looked down at their hands. It was their hands that really started this, wasn’t it? That night in Dean’s room where they found each other without the knowledge of their owners. And it was Dean’s hands that Cas loved the most about him, his lips a very close second. They were calloused, sure, but only slightly and the rough grain of them against Castiel’s smoother skin was something Cas hoped to never have to give up. 

Castiel’s smile was small at first as he continued to look at their hands, but it grew as his head started to turn up to face Dean. Dean did enjoy that smile. Cas started to nod, laughing a little as well. Dean’s face hurt, his smile was so big. Cas did enjoy that smile. Dean let go of Castiel’s hand to put both hands on Cas’s face, to pull him close so he could kiss his new boyfriend. 

* * *

The first week back for Dean was, to say the least, rough. Whispers passed in the hallways weren’t whispers soft enough. Dean could hear everyone talking, but all he heard was lies. Were people honestly so stupid to believe that Crowley and Dean were in a gang? He could understand the whole bar fight scenario, but the other stories he heard were so off the wall. His personal favorite though was that he had gotten an ex-girlfriend pregnant and her father had gotten ahold of him. He liked that one, but Cas did not. Cas didn’t like any of it. Especially since Dean and he couldn’t even hold hands in the school. They both decided that since the animals at school would have a field day with Dean coming back there was no need to give them more ammunition. 

Finally Dean had had enough. He listened to one loudmouth asshole too many botch his story that he snapped. It had been the Friday of his first week back. The lunch block had just started. Like an ant colony being stepped on by a toddler, people poured out of their classrooms and formed a massive line for the cafeteria. Dean walked out of his English class, Jo and Ash tagging behind him. Jo carried Dean’s books while Ash had Dean’s book bag. They walked into the cafeteria and sat at their usual table. It was weird to sit across from an empty seat. Dean was used to seeing Bela and Meg gossiping about the latest high school scandal. But all week Meg and Bela made themselves scarce. Maybe because they were still tied to Crowley, maybe because they thought that since Dean was in love with a boy they might as well stop being his friend because the chances of them ever getting together were even slimmer now. No matter the real reason the fact of the matter was there was three empty seats

Across the lunch room, in an area that most of the band kids and chess club members sat, three people sat ignoring each other. Cas, paying too much attention to the boy in the crutches across the cafeteria, ignored Chuck who was trying to talk to Cas about the weekend. Chuck, too busy being ignored by his best friend, ignored his girlfriend who was trying to ask him to pass the damn salt. 

“Castiel,” Chuck snapped his fingers in front of Cas’s face. Cas’s focus was brought back to the table he was actually sitting at. He turned to Chuck. 

“Yes? Did you say something?” 

“I was just wondering what you were doing tonight? Are you coming over?” It was about time for another Star Trek marathon. Cas was so busy with Dean and school that he had forgotten about his friends. And Cas never wanted to be that kind of friend. Someone who ditched his friends for a significant other? Those people were the worst. That’s why Cas was so happy that he was friends with both Chuck and Becky. 

“Yeah, I think I am. If that’s okay.” 

“Of course it’s okay, Castiel. Right Chuck?” Becky cut in. She reached across the table and patted Cas’s hand. Cas gave her a small smile. Maybe their friendship was going to be okay.  

Back across the cafeteria, Dean ate his burger in silence. Jo and Ash were busy discussing the assignment that their English teacher had just given. The sounds of everyone’s conversations blended into a medley of stupidity. Dean looked back to see if he could see Cas. Instead of Cas, Dean got the displeasure of getting to look at Zach Fuller. Zach was a prick on the wrestling team with Dean. And for the past few weeks all Zach could talk about was his idiot team mate and how...

“...cops showed up in fifteen minutes and bashed his fucking head in. I suppose that’s what he gets for getting into dog fighting.” Dean heard Zach laugh to his friends from a table not even five feet away from Dean’s table. Dean dropped his burger and grabbed his crutches. Jo and Ash stopped their conversation. Dean never left a burger unfinished. 

“Where are you going?” Jo asked. Dean didn’t speak, just pulled himself up. He hobbled over to Zach and sat down. Zach and his friends looked at the beaten boy that was their entertainment for the past three weeks. 

“Can we help you?” Zach asked. Dean had always hated Zach, but now Dean really wanted to kill him. 

“You want to know what really happened? Because I can tell you for damn sure the bullshit story I just heard you tell these sorry asshats is wrong.” Castiel was sitting four tables away, but when everyone’s eyes shifted to where Zach Fuller and his friends sat, Cas followed along. Cas’s heart stopped when he saw that Dean was sandwiched between Zach and Ralph. What was Dean doing at that table? Chuck and Becky looked on with Cas. Chuck was getting tired of Dean Winchester. Ever since he got back, all anyone could talk about was Dean.

“Castiel, what is it with you and Dean Winchester?” Chuck asked, snapping his fingers at Castiel’s face to get his attention back. Castiel was having a hard time not looking at Dean. He had to keep an eye out on him. But he managed to look back to Chuck. 

“What? There is nothing with Dean and I. I told you, we’ve become friends, is that alright with you Chuck?” Chuck’s eyes narrowed at his friend. Becky rolled her eyes. She had heard the same lie over and over for the past three weeks now and each time it was getting weaker and weaker. She had figured it out, she was just waiting for Chuck to get it too. 

“Ah! What the fuck?” Zach could be heard from every place in the cafeteria. All eyes were on the table where the boy with the crutches was walking away from with a scowl that could kill. Castiel fought the urge to get up from his table and run over to Dean. Dean didn’t go back to his table, he walked right out of the cafeteria. 

“I, uh, have to, go.” Castiel didn’t even come up with a viable excuse to leave. He just grabbed his things and left. Becky rolled her eyes again as she watched her boyfriend look baffled as Castiel left. 

Castiel found Dean in an empty classroom. He was doing his best to pace, but with the crutches all he really was doing was moving in a tight circle. Cas edged into the room, trying not to be seen. He sat down, silent, hoping Dean didn’t notice him. Dean’s vision was tunneled by anger, he didn’t even notice Cas. 

“Anything I can do?” Cas asked, after Dean stopped moving and saw Cas sitting patiently. Dean shook his head, too mad to smile. Castiel got up from the desk and walked over to Dean. Dean sat on the top of a desk, setting his crutches aside. Castiel slipped between Dean’s legs, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean rested his head on Castiel’s chest, taking deep breaths. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. He kissed the top of Dean’s head and asked him again. 

“Not unless you can stop the entire school from talking about me like I’m not even here.” Dean looked up at Cas. His eyes were so sad, Castiel wished he could do anything to make him feel better. 

“I can’t do that. But just know you don’t have to do this alone.” Cas looked down at this sad, desperate, broken boy who was no longer Dean Winchester, but a shell of Dean. Castiel wished he could do something, anything, to help him. Dean hugged Cas closer to him, knowing that it would be the only thing that could make him feel better. 

"I didn't think so," Dean sighed. He looked up at Cas who gave him a soft peck on the lips. Dean pulled Cas closer, their noses bumped together as their heads shifted. The boys laughed into their kiss. It took a lot of effort, but Cas finally pulled away from Dean. Dean fell a little, not understanding why the kiss stopped. 

"What?" Dean whined. 

"I can't help but become curious. What exactly say to Zach to get that reaction?" Dean laughed at the look of Zach's face after Dean lied to him. 

"I, uh, well I told him that I went to strip club and got a private room but just before it got any further than her top being off, her boyfriend came in and I thought I was dead. Turns out he just wanted to join in. I said 'yeah, more the merrier' So I'm supposedly in the middle of a three way when the cops bust the club and while I had my cock all the way in the guy's ass I was ripped out of him by a cop and then beaten with his baton, not the sexy kind." Cas didn't want to laugh, but he couldn't help it. Dean was probably digging a deeper hole for himself with that lie, but Zach's reaction was worth it. 

"You're crazy." 

"Yeah, I know. But I'm damn funny." Cas hit Dean's shoulder. Dean wobbled a little. Cas caught him by his shirt. He began apologizing profusely. 

"I keep forgetting that you're so..." He didn't want to say 'fragile' but that really was the only way to describe Dean. Dean sighed and nodded. He understood. Because he was fragile and he knew it. Cas didn't know what to do, so Dean just pulled him closer to him, his head landing on Cas's chest. Cas kissed the top of Dean's head and whispered, "I'm sorry." 

“I know. But it helps that you’re here,” Dean admitted in a whisper, his head resting on Cas’s chest. Cas couldn’t help but smile. Dean Winchester, his boyfriend, needed him. Who would have thought?


	21. Chapter 21

Dean and Cas stood hand in hand on the doorstep, Cas’s open hand hovering over the doorbell. Dean didn’t know about it. He knew how much Chuck hated him. He didn’t even blame Chuck for hating him. For almost ten years, Dean made Cas and Chuck’s lives a living hell. Cas had forgiven Dean. Maybe Chuck could too. It was highly unlikely, but there was still hope.

“Are you sure about this? Is he going to even let me in?” Cas honestly didn’t know if Chuck would. But they had to at least try.

“Let me just ring the doorbell and we can see.” Cas said as his finger pressed the bell. The boys could hear someone running to get the door. Dean held his breath as they opened the door. Cas held tight to Dean’s hand. He said he was fine with Cas telling Chuck and Becky. He really only said that because he didn’t expect Cas to drag him to a Star Trek marathon at Chuck’s house; he was thinking more along the lines of just casually saying something, not showing it off.

“Yep,” Becky laughed as she looked at the two boys standing in front of her. Cas and Dean both looked at her in confusion. She didn’t say anything more, just stepped aside to let them in. Chuck was probably in the den finding the last episode they had left off on.

“Um, Becky, you know Dean. Dean and I, well...” Cas and Dean stepped into the foyer. Dean’s hand was sweating, but Cas couldn’t notice because he was focusing on his own sweating palm. Becky was grinning ear to ear. She had been dying to see Chuck’s face when he finally realized why Castiel had been acting so weird.

“Are totally hot for each other? Castiel, I’ve known about it since the second week of school. It’s pretty obvious.” She said it so matter-of-factly that Cas blushed, actually blushed. He didn’t think it was that obvious.

“In crude terms, yes.” Cas cleared his throat. Dean stood in silence, being in uncharted territory.

“Hey! Becks!” Chuck called from the den. His voice was getting closer as he continued to shout, “Is Castiel here yet or --” He stopped like he had run into a wall. Cas’s grip on Dean’s hand tightened as Dean’s grip went slack.

“Hi Chuck,” Cas gave a little wave with his free hand. Chuck stood silently. How was he supposed to react to seeing his best friend holding the hand of the person he hated most in life?

“Castiel?” His voice came out in a squeak. Becky was the only who laughed. She cleared her throat before she grabbed Dean by the arm and told him to come with her. Dean didn’t want to leave Cas, but he could see that Chuck and Cas had a lot to talk about.

“Chuck, you know how I was never upset when you and Becky got together? I was actually happy for you because she made you so happy and I liked Becky so I was happy for the both of you. Well I know you don’t like Dean, but he makes me really happy.”

“How?” Chuck’s voice came out loud and more furious than he intended. Castiel flinched at the anger in his friend’s voice.

“He makes me laugh and he’s really sweet and he’s very understanding.”

“And you just what? Don’t ever think about the past ten years? Where he made you cry and was a dick and the only thing he understood was that you were an easy target.” Cas was starting to get angry. He knew Chuck wouldn’t like it. Chuck never liked the fact that Cas was becoming friends with Dean, so finding out Cas and Dean were dating would never, in any universe, end well. Cas knew that. But acting like a brat about it? Cas didn’t peg Chuck as someone who would.

“You think we never talked about it? That I’m stupid? I hated him, you know I did. He was a complete asshole. But you know what? He knows that too. He’s apologized for it numerous times. Also, he’s not just his past. He’s a lot more than that. And if you took the time to get your head out of your ass, you’d know that. I don’t need you shitting on my relationship. I came here so that the three most important people to me could get along, but I guess that’s not happening.” Cas walked away from Chuck. Chuck stood in shocked silence. Dean and Becky were busy trying to look like they weren’t eavesdropping when Cas walked into the kitchen.

“He’ll come around, Castiel.” Becky tried to comfort him. It was a hollow statement. Both of them knew it. Dean got off a bar stool, grabbed his crutches and walked over to Cas. He didn’t even hesitate before he pulled Cas to him.

“Let’s just go, Dean.” Cas grabbed his hand and started to walk out. Becky went to grab Dean to stop them but she didn’t blame him for wanting to go. Her hand fell limply to her side as she watched her friend face defeat. The two boys walked out of the kitchen and back into the foyer. Chuck wasn’t in there anymore. He was probably skulking in the den, pouting as he waited for Becky to come and tell him he was right. Cas and Dean walked out of the house and down the pathway to Gabriel’s car. Cas opened the door for Dean. Dean threw his crutches into the back, leaning on the roof of the car. He slid into the passenger’s seat, still not used to not being behind the wheel even though he hadn’t driven in over a month.

“Castiel! Wait!” Chuck came running out of the house, down the path, tripped and almost slammed into the car. Cas hadn’t sat down yet, he was still half-way hanging out of the car. He grabbed the hood of the car and lifted himself up.

“What, Chuck?”

“I’m sorry. Please come back in.” Cas moved back into the car. Dean was sitting, his hands already hovering over his crutches. He knew Cas. Cas was going to say they weren’t going in, maybe he’d start the car, put the car in drive, but his foot would never press the gas, then he would turn the car off and get out, help Dean out of the car, and they would spend the next four hours or so watching the nerdiest show that Dean would never admit that he actually loved.

“We can’t go in, can we?” Cas asked to more himself than Dean. Dean shrugged his shoulders, letting Cas work it out himself. “No, we can’t. We won’t.” Cue the key. Cas’s hand hovered over the gear shift, hesitated a little before he finally put it into drive. Chuck was starting to walk back to his house, head hung low. Dean kept his head straight but his eyes kept shifting over to Cas. Cas let out a frustrated sigh as he put the car back into park. Cue the key again. The car’s humming stopped as Cas cut the ignition. He got out of the car, walked over to Dean’s side, and helped Dean out of the car.

“Chuck, wait.” Chuck turned around. The boys walked back up the walkway, following Chuck back into the house.

The only thing Dean had been off with was the amount of hours they stayed in front of the television screen. Not four hours but eight. Eight hours they sat, enchanted by the siren that Star Trek can be. When Dean had a question no one answered him, they were trapped.

Halfway through the eighth episode, Dean grabbed his crutches and hobbled to the kitchen. He pulled out his phone that was ringing away. Sam’s name flashed across the screen.

“Sammy? Is everything alright?” When Dean was in the hospital he felt useless. Every day Sam would come in after school and they’d play cards and talk about Sam’s day at school. They’d only play one or two games before Dean would tell Sam to go to Bobby’s to do his homework. One day Sam came into his room, he didn’t look like Sammy. He sighed as he threw his book bag on the ground and threw himself into the chair.

Dean asked him again and again what was wrong. Sam insisted that nothing was wrong, but Dean knows his little brother better than that. Finally Sam gave in. When Dean heard that some punk named Nick was picking on Sam, Dean wanted to jump out of bed and beat a fourteen-year-old’s ass. Sam said that he’d handle it, but Dean didn’t like that. Dean was the big brother, he was the protector, he couldn’t just let Sammy, his baby brother, handle it. But he had to.

“Yes Dean, everything is fine. I was just seeing if I could spend the night at Zack’s? Bobby said he didn’t care, just to ask you.” Dean grabbed a few chips from the bowl that they had left in the kitchen because Chuck’s parents would have killed Chuck if a crumb were to be found on the floor of the den. Zack was a good kid. He’d spent the night a few times and he had a sister in high school, sophomore, who dated Dean for a long weekend the year before.

“Sure, Sammy. Remember that I’m going to Milton tomorrow and I’ll be getting back late, so call Bobby.”

“I can take the bus Dean. And stop calling me ‘Sammy’. Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It’s Sam.” Dean shook his head. When did his kid brother grow up? Wasn’t it just yesterday that Dean was helping Sammy collect rocks for his collection? And now Sammy wasn’t even Sammy anymore. Just Sam.

“Sure thing, Sammy.” Dean couldn’t help himself. He heard the irritation in Sam’s sigh. Dean laughed as he hung up the phone before Sam could say anything else.

“Hey,” Cas poked his head through the archway. “What’re you doing?” Dean put his phone back in his pocket and grabbed another chip.

“Sam called. He’s gonna stay over Zack’s tonight. Which is good actually. You’re still willing to drive me to Milton tomorrow, right?” Cas came into the kitchen. He took a handful of the chips for himself. He nodded as he ate the chips one by one.

“Of course. I’ll be at your place at 7:15.” Dean let out a heavy, exasperated sigh. “What?”

“7:15 is so early. Can’t you get me at like, I don’t know, 12:30?” Cas knew that the earliness of the trip was not the real issue. It had been almost a month since his father left. And while Dean was used to his father being away for long periods of time, this time was different. This time he wasn’t going to come back and just pick up the bottle. When he came back he was supposed to be a changed man. Dean would be the judge of that. That’s what he was worried about. Cas knew that, but he didn’t let Dean know he knew.

“No, Dean,” he rubbed small circles on Dean’s arms with his thumb, “You said you wanted to get there early. Well the facility’s visiting hours start at nine and it takes only a little less than an hour and a half to get there. But, we can leave at 7:30, at the latest. Now, come on, we’re missing the show.” Cas tugged on Dean’s shirt. Dean grabbed another pile of chips before struggling to get off the chair.

“Is everything alright?” Becky asked as Dean took a seat. Cas sat down next to Dean, but not close enough that they were touching. Cas assumed they was going to have to refrain touching each other for awhile while Chuck and Becky got used to them. Dean looked at how far Cas was from him and couldn’t remember the last time Cas sat that far away from him. He didn’t like it. He just wanted to hold Cas’s hand.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. My little brother just needed to ask me question.” Chuck sat silent on the opposite side of the couch. He was sorry that he upset Cas but that was it. He was not sorry for feeling the way he felt. It would take a long time for Dean to be in his good graces. But the mention of a brother did peak his interest. Chuck had always imagined Dean being the spoiled, only child that a parent could never say no to and that was the reason that Dean got away with everything, including beating an innocent kid every day.

“You have a little brother? How old is he?” Becky asked, wanting to get to know Dean better. Becky knew about Dean and Castiel and Chuck’s history. She knew of the hatred that Chuck harbored towards Dean Winchester. But she could see in the way Castiel looked at Dean that Dean would be in their lives for a while. So why not make the best of it?

“He’s fourteen. He goes to St. Mary’s across town.” There was a lull. Cas sat with his hands in his lap, waiting for someone to say something else. Chuck picked at his nails, trying his best to ignore the conversation. Dean cleared his throat and silently questioned what kind of parent wouldn’t allow drinks and food to be in the den. Becky bit her lip, trying to come up with something else to say. She bounced a little as she got the next question.

“And what do your parents do?” Dean tensed. Cas’s face drained of all color. Becky nervously smiled as she waited for the answer. Chuck was too involved with his nails to care about Dean’s parents. Dean shifted in his seat.

“My dad works on an oil rig, he’s gone most of the time.”

“And your mom?”

“She um, well she died when I was little.” Becky let out a tiny gasp. She apologized like everyone did when Dean told them about his mom. “You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know.” Chuck finally looked up. Dean sounded different. He sounded sad, which was not an feeling Chuck thought Dean could have. He always just assumed that Dean will filled with Malice and sarcasm. He looked over at Dean and Cas. His eyes landed on their hands. Their pinky fingers were hooked together. They just couldn’t help themselves.


End file.
